Sunday, February 15, 2015

The One Where I Fall In Love With Carly

I don't know why it's taken me so long to start these posts this season - probably because I thought it was going to be suuuuper boring actually - but now it's so good I can't stop myself. I wish I had done last week's with Ashley I. and Kelsey (!!!) but here were are now, so:

The "Chris Tells All" (quotes because really, he didn't tell us anything but oh well):
Oh, first it's Kelsey, I guess:
"I faked the panic attack," I know this is taken out of context, but she said the words in that order sooooooooooooo.

"Are you condescending?" -Chris H.
"No." -Kelsey. LOL isn't it other people who get to decide that?

"Do you think you're smarter than the other girls?" -Chris H. She waited waaaaaaaaaaay too long to answer. Yes.

"I saw my arms collapse in front of me." -Kelsey. How often do you walk around with your hands up? Oh wait - "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying - oh, idea! Better have a panic attack to get a rose."

High school guidance counselor {does not equal} mental health professional.

This is awesome editing. Kelsey says, "She's an incredible person." Cut to - "She's here (hand down) I'm here (hand up)(in the air again, silly Kelsey)." And, "She needs to go home and play dress she has for the last 24 years." LOL. 

Also, if she's so incredible, why do you want to crucify her?

I want to hire Chris Harrison to be my therapist.

Ok, on to Chris:
Craft (?) services for the crew! I want to be on that crew. That looks ballin'.

"I mean, it could have happened to anyone." -Chris H, on the girl who got wasted. Over-drinking! It could happen to you!

If Chris had said "light bulb" in Gru's voice, I would have given him major points. And forgiven all the misgivings I've had all season.

"I'm not opposed to the small bikini. I am a man." Ooooooh. Just lost all those hypothetical points.

Like I just don't get why people feel this pulling need to tell a sob story before all else, and at such inappropriate times. Is it really just to stick around? 

The "love guru" date was like peer pressure for adults. "We both just didn't know what to we didn't do anything."

And that clip on the date with Becca - I want to see more like that!! GIVE US THE REAL STUFF, BACHELOR!!!

Chris S: The donkey almost took my life.
Chris H.: What a jackass.
That was terrible, Chris.
...and I laughed so hard.

And poor Andi. I didn't watch her season but I liked her a lot. I feel really bad for her.
"Where we get in a fight and neither of us are willing to give in." Hope Andi's future boyfriends aren't watching.

I would NEVER want to get on national TV after a breakup. $$$$$

On to the actual episode!!
What did Chris say to Britt's question??

Megan - oh wow. Easy breakup. Classy of her to go straight in for it. Fearless. I like it.

Carly has so much personality. I love her dress because it's so her. Love Jade's too.

"Why don't you just give her the ring?" - Kaitlyn. LOL

So excited it's Jade. Love her.

You can tell he's totally in his element.

Is that JUST Chris's house? How much money does this guy have??

Calm down, Britt. Not EVERYTHING is about you.

Whitney! I bet he picked the two most likely girls to be ok in a small town to really test them. Top 2?

It may be a ghost town - but if you're close to bigger towns....nope, 3 hours from Des Moines. Yikes. Maybe other smaller towns, closer?

"This episode is not sponsored by the Arlington town council." -Allison (friend I watch it with) hahahah

Anyone else think it's weird when people still cheer on their HS song? Maybe just me because high school was lame? ok moving on...

"This row reserved for The Bachelor." They must have taken the sign down.

Meet the parents! And they're sitting elsewhere so he didn't have to...

Are the girls confined to the hotel? Seriously, why not go outside occasionally??

"When Chris and I were finally alone." -Jade. Honey weren't you alone ALL DAY?

"It's not English, what we're doing, it's more like French..." -Chris. There's that small town boy.

There was nobody in downtown because there were all at the game.

I think it's cute that Jade (I keep wanting to call her Desi?) can say that Cinderella and his HS's game can be her best nights ever.

Whitney: "It's weird to think I could be in a place I might call home." -Not Des Moines. Someone fill her in. Geography is not this season's strong suit.

(PS I really like her. Even with her unique voice. She's really cute, and I like her attitude that flares up occasionally.)


"Britt thinks this is the bachelorette." -Carly. LOL.

"Let's go to Arlington, like I want to see where I could be living." That's nice dreaming, girls.

Oh. They're serious. Alright, well, go Carly! She has so much spunk.

Kaitlyn just quoted Anchorman!! If I didn't already love her, it would have been the tipping point.

If they saw how rich he was, they might change their minds about this small town.

The same Jesus picture! It's a sign!

Oh it really is. LOL she gets better and better. I'm glad she says "it's a sign I'm on the right path"...not "that I'm going to marry him."

The 50-year-old is wearing a Call of Duty shirt. Awesome. That's your answer ladies - that's what they do in this town. You ready?

Oh, and he's the pastor! Even better!

"There's not a restaurant here." But where will Britt waitress??

Carly is killing me!!! The hand puppet!! The moon!!! SERIOUSLY DYING

SEE!! Whitney's parents story. THAT kind of emotional giving is NORMAL. Sharing at an appropriate time, after you've met some friends, had a few dates. Way to go, Whitney!!!

Got my tight pants, my tight pants on.

Awww a mural!

"This is going to be here, like, forever?" Well, until someone else paints over it.

Jade is telling Carly. And the number one google search of the night is....

I really like seeing more of his small town side.

Come on, Britt. You're wearing a midriff shirt and you KNOW you're going ice skating!!! Chris, analyze this situation. Is she going to be ok on a farm?? NO.

The skating interview between Carly and Kaitlyn - LOL. Love them!

Carly's tattling was the best I've ever seen. You go, girl!

Ok, Chris you can ask her again - but she's going to lie again.

"What does a hometown date with you look like?" -Chris
"We're going to eat on our hometowns." -Britt. (Loose interpretation.) Which must have been a relief since they don't eat on their dates they go on now.

"I like to reinvent myself." -Britt. Red flag! "She's a runner." -Allison. Yep.

"Was there ever a there's no way moment?" -Chris. Oooooh smart! Such a better call - out than last week, and he didn't accuse Carly. Fast learner.

I hate seeing Kaitlyn so insecure. She's just too awesome.

Ummmm...Britt's death stare.

DID SHE SERIOUSLY ROLL HER EYES AT HIM??? She gets me so worked up.

Ohhhhh. Manipulative Britt!! At her finest.

"I don't want to make YOU feel bad." -Britt to Kaitlyn. Nope, just Chris.

This needs to be a one-on-one conversation. So awkward, and putting Chris in a terrible position.

She can't let anyone else be happy in front of her or she flips out. Second time tonight she's interrupted a good moment for someone else to make it all about her.

Ok, telling him you might want to go home right now? In front of the other girls? Don't play like that, girl. If you liked him enough, you'd be past that. Or maybe if she was classy? I can't tell.

You can tell she's so used to throwing a tantrum and then getting what she wants - I don't think she even realizes that she's being a brat, it's just innate. Plus, she keeps talking about her daddy this and father that - maybe she's a daddy's girl? And he's the one who gives her anything?

Ok well that's all the judging I have time for tonight. But do you think Jade's past will have a bearing on Chris's feelings toward her?? Very excited we don't have to wait another week! See you tomorrow!

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