Tuesday, March 11, 2014

The Last of Juan Pablo

Okay, so this week I tuned in late and was in and out of the first two hours because, children.

I tuned in JUST in time to see Clare's freak out about Juan Pablo's inappropriate comment or whatever when there were no comments, and my first thought was, "Clare has standards?" I know. I'm a horrible person. But when she goes to a guy's apartment at 4AM for a "swim in the ocean," you just kinda figure anything goes. But I'm glad to hear she does have a limit, and I guess JP hit it. (No pun intended.)

Well, based on her obvious flabbergastion (I thought I made that word up just now but spell check isn't doing anything - is that seriously a word?), I expected her to make it rain pain on JP when he got to her apartment that night, but it seems the worst she could do was deny him "besitos" at his arrival. And then beat around the bush about why she was really pissed, and somehow completely forgive him based on his answers that they have more than physical chemistry. Wow. That was anti-climactic. And honey, if he's telling you something when the cameras are off and nobody's watching - he means it. Run. If you're that offended, come out and say it, and then run.

Ok. Back to regular format.

*Nikki's date: Nothing we haven't seen before.

*Mute. So boring.

*Here, I didn't watch it, but let me recap it for you still. "I love him." "This could be my last date before getting engaged." "I'm so excited." JP: "Besitos?"


*Why do the girls waste so much time on their hair in such awful humidity? Nikki, being from KC, should at least know better.

*See the light blue of Clare's dress as she gets off the boat = she's going home. Let's watch this dismissal.

*I don't know why they always let the other person talk. So awkward.

*JP is soooooo tan!

*Ooooooohhhhh the rejected hug! This'll be good.

*Uuuuhhhhhh. This is awkward. And awesome?

*"I believed in you!" What did she need to believe in him, exactly? I mean, what does that mean?

*I kinda wish she would let him say something. Let them duke it out!

*She's pretty quick to walk away after being soooo in love.

*I feel like Chris Harrison is almost proud of her for her rejection.

*"I'm glad I didn't pick her." -JP. LOL. Also, I love that engagements are a simple matter of "picking" one over the other.

*It seems cruel to make them wear high-heels while walking through the sand! Men obviously planned this.

*Oh my gosh. I have been waiting EVERY season for someone to finish off this way: "I'm not ready to get engaged, but let's keep dating." JP was really weird about it, but the essence of it - I am so happy this finally happened.

*You can tell she's trying not to be too disappointed about not getting engaged today.

*ALSO - what is the story with the ring in his hand? I didn't see him go in with Neil Lane - did he still come and JP picked out a ring? What's the story there?

*I skipped most of the ATFR, but here's his conversation with Clare as I imagined it happening
Chris Harrison: What went wrong?
Clare: He isn't the man I thought he was.
CH: Are you in a good place now?
Clare: Yep.

*"What I was going to say, before he (CH) interrupted me..." -JP. Uhhhh if you're new to this, Chris Harrison gets to do whatever he wants. Whenever he wants. This is HIS turf, yo.

*Also, the "I'm just being honest" isn't a get out of jail free card. You don't get to say whatever you want and justify it with honesty. There's still class.

*Wow. This fight between JP and CH is about the best thing I've ever seen. I can't believe JP is getting SO worked up about not saying whether or not he loves Nikki. And she seems totally fine. Either she still has her rose-colored glasses on, or she is just the perfect kind of weird for him. And I get that they may not want the rest of their relationship out in the media, but when you sign up to have cameras follow you for four solid months as you "find the love of your life," you can't be so naive as to think it ends there. Especially 15 years into the show. (ish. Too lazy to look up how long this has been going on.)

*Catherine said it perfectly: Don't bite the hand that fed you.

*LOL and of course JP doesn't get it.

*Did y'all see CH exit stage left as the camera was panning out? He couldn't even wait for full commercial to get out of their presence and take a break!! HAHAHAHAHA! This is awesome!

*lol. "I can say that I'm glad that's over." -CH (Paraphrased.) LOL I've never heard him express such obvious dislike for someone. He is the best.

*And Andi's the new bachelorette! I knew it had to be her or Renee. I'm glad it's not Renee though. She deserved to be with her son, she missed him so much.

*"Don't be surprised if you find love and the world wants to follow you through the journey after the show. I'm just saying, it's ok." -CH

Well that's that. Did I miss anything? I'm sure there are parts I should have seen so if I missed anything good, let me know!

I don't know if I'll watch next season. I like Andi a lot, but it's going to be virtually the same dates, the same conversations, the same everything, and frankly, it's getting a little boring. What I wish the show would do is actually put them in real-life scenarios and make them figure it out - that would be way more interesting and they'd have a better shot at actually matching up compatible people! But the guys can be funny in their entrances, you know, like wearing masks and armor outfits and what not, so maybe I'll watch the first episode. If it grabs my attention....I don't know. We'll just have to see.

Thanks to everyone who reads this! I like feeling like I can still watch and laugh about this with my friends :)

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