Friday, May 31, 2013

Don't worry I'm just ranting

I'm going to rant for a second. You're probably going to think I'm crazy for a minute.

There was an experience I had a while ago where I was holding Ariana and we were playing, very happy, and someone turned to us and said, "Oh, I think she needs some play time with me!" (Something along those lines) and held out their hands, just a little. Well, at the moment, I wasn't ready to give her up, because sometimes I like to play with her too! I was also worried about sick germs being passed on. I said something noncommittal and hoped it would pass. But this person persisted, and said, "I think she needs convincing," and held out their hands until they were a couple inches away from Ariana. We were in a situation where it would have been rudely distracting for me to say no or explain that now was not a good time (sacrament meeting, anyone?), so I reluctantly handed her over.

Listen, if you want to hold my baby, I get it. She's adorable. And there is just something about holding babies that makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside. And most of the time, I don't have a problem with it.

BUT.

JUST BECAUSE YOU WANT TO HOLD MY BABY DOES NOT GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO.

Sometimes I want to hold her too! You think she's cute? She is! I know! I helped make her!

Or maybe I'm worried about germs because having a sick baby sucks!

Or maybe I'm feeling a little clingy!

Or maybe SHE'S feeling a little clingy!

There could be a thousand other reasons, but what I'm saying is this - a baby is not public property. Thank you for being considerate and asking, but for some reason, since it's not ok to tell people "no" who don't ask and just think it's a given at anytime (if it is - let me know a tactful way to do it), if I'm very obviously holding back when you've already made it clear that you want some play time, back off. Don't keep asking.

It's not your decision. It's not a given. Respect our space, forthelove.

Anyone else have this problem?

*Yes, I realize this post makes me sound like an insane helicopter mom. I'm not. This happens maybe 2% of the time. Ninety-eight percent of the time, I'm fine and dandy and of COURSE you can play with her! But, Lord help me on those other 2%...

5 comments:

  1. Maybe next time you should say, "Actually I'm going to go change her diaper," and just get up and leave. ;) I enjoy reading your blog. And I know what you mean about wanting to write on a more personal level, but not knowing quite how to. You'll figure it out.

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  2. Seriously! You have the right to say no. How rude. P.S. Your family picture above is adorable!!!!!!

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  3. Rebecca that's such a good Idea! I will have to try that next time. I'm glad you all agree, I was worried I was the only one :)

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  4. Ok, I know you wrote this a while ago, but I had a suggestion or two. First, it's totally fine to say "now is not a good time." If they ask why, tell them the truth: you would like to hold YOUR child! Some people will still think this is rude of you because they do have the attitude that babies are public property and you have all day to hold your baby, but seriously, all said and done, you're happy about not handing your baby over and they'll get over it. And second, if it's in sacrament meeting that they ask, then seriously just be like "not right now, we're in sacrament." I mean, sacrament is supposed to be the most quiet and reverent time of church, not a time to pass your baby around. For me, I never voluntarily let people hold Benjamin when he was little. If someone asked and I was ok with them (and the situation was appropriate) then I said yes, but honestly, I had the attitude that he is my child and I'm not obligated to give him to someone just because they want to hold him.

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