Friday, March 29, 2013

I get God more now

I've never presumed to understand the works of God, or why we go through the things we do. Truly, His ways are mysterious to me. When I encounter a trial, I am the perfect example of what not to do. I lament, "Why me?" and get angry and swear and think all sorts of naughty thoughts that I am never proud of later on, but feel fully justified on at the time.

But in taking care of Ariana, I am starting to understand more about why God maybe does the things He does. For example: Ariana has been teething, and when she'd start crying because her teeth hurt, I'd try to rub a numbing gel on her to make it feel better. And she hated that. It already hurt, why would I touch it and make it worse? (After a while the rubbing helps too, just initially it's super painful.) Or when I'd give her Tylenol - I know that what she really wanted was to nurse and be comforted, but I knew that once the Tylenol kicked in, she would be so much happier. She just couldn't understand it. She wanted what she wanted, now.

And I get it. I'm the same way with God. How often am I going through things that God is allowing to happen for the exact same reason? Though it killed me to see her hurting so badly, I knew that what I was doing was what was going to make her the most comfortable and happy in the long run. Literally everything I do for that child is to make her happy. That's all I want, is a happy baby.

Listen, I know that having the attitude I did wasn't exactly healthy. I know it's not fair to call out God on things we don't like, but sometimes, a girl goes through so much that she's just gotta say, "What the hell??" But I'm finally starting to understand. I don't believe that God necessarily puts trials in our lives on purpose. While that may be the case sometimes, I think that we simply live in a fallen world and that He is there to walk alongside us and catch us when we fall. I didn't give Ariana teething, it simply happens, and I am there to take care of her. I feel like I'm finally understanding what it's like.

And I love it.


5 comments:

  1. This is wonderful. I want to read it again.

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  2. Such a great analogy. The difference between you and I is... you saw it, and I didn't. Well anyway, thanks for sharing it. Juliet just cut two teeth, and it was pretty challenging. Sometimes I just wanted to cry for her, and I imagine God feels the same when we are in pain. Lovely reminder on Easter weekend. Christ knows our pain, and we can rely on him in much the same ways our babies rely on us.

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  3. It's amazing what having kids does to us and our perspective on things. After having Mack at first, I was like, I got the devil child! haha. But since he was soo hard, I have grown and learned so much and have much more patience and understanding of myself, him and other people. Kids are very challenging, yet the most rewarding, and I believe help us grow the most. Sorry about the teething... Just make it through the first two years!! I promise it will get better.

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