Wednesday, October 17, 2012

When does the political season end?

The second round of presidential debates were tonight. That was a bummer to watch - two grown men arguing about who did what and why the other person sucks. It pissed me off for a minute, and then some parts made me laugh because, seriously? Are you adults? And I have no problem discussing politics, but I never post about them because rarely does that lead to an actual "discussion." But that's ok. So instead I get on Facebook and look for funny things, except, oh - is everyone posting about the debates??

Good golly. Can't escape it. So if you were one of the few people who posted a political light-hearted post, or something completely different, thanks for making my evening a little brighter.

And then Harry Potter was on, and it was Goblet of Fire, when they're still growing into their puberty and I forgot how big Daniel Radcliffe's nose is in that one! Or how nerdy Neville looks.

A little SNL humor on the Undecided Voter:

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Is this baby real life?

Well, it's less than two weeks until I give birth aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddd...

I've been so torn!

This whole pregnancy, I've been fighting getting attached to this baby. I know it's crazy. I should be thrilled - and I am. I should be so grateful - and I am. I should be anxious, in a good way - and I am. It's just that I'm also scared, nervous, anxious in a bad way, preoccupied, and lots of other not-so-pleasant emotions. And did I mention scared? It took me a really long time to feel excited about this pregnancy, and even more time to feel attached to her, and even that comes and goes. It's just that when past experience teaches you that A + B = trauma, it's hard to later believe that A + B = joy. It's hard, when that similar situation arises, to automatically push aside your anxiety and see the present for what it is, and ONLY for what it is. So, I fight it. I don't believe that this is going to end in a baby. Honest to goodness, I see us going to the hospital in two weeks and leaving with nothing. What baby? What's this nursery we have set up? I'm not sure why we have all that stuff, it's obviously not for MY child. Should we give it away to one of my gazillion friends who had babies recently? No joke - I've had 7 friends give birth this week. THIS WEEK. Nine or ten this month, and maybe....15 since June?

And while that seems like a side note, it's turning out to be pretty significant. Most of these girls, I was there for their announcement. (Facebook counts as being present, right? I mean that I've known these girls pre-, during and now post-pregnancy.) And now I see these beautiful, healthy babies, and it doesn't escape my attention that it will be my situation so soon. Whether I believe it or not, I WILL (God-willing - see? Still skeptical) be coming home with a beautiful baby girl on October 25th. I see these tiny babies and realize that I will be responsible for my own very, very soon, and it's starting to hit home. Finally.

And I am getting so excited.



Guys, it's overwhelming even just to know that you're going to be a parent. Then there's the preparation and things sink in even more, and soon you're at the gates and wondering what it all even means. Is this real life?

Being a mother has been my ultimate goal for as long as I can remember. I know that's cheesy and some would think pretty typical of a Mormon girl - I mean, right? But really. I'm passionate about families, so making my own only makes perfect sense. And I'm here. I'm finally here.

It's like getting married all over again - you know your life is about to change for the better, and you're getting excited. But you're also nervous, because you've never been here before, and there's a lot of bad things people say about it, and then there's the good, and then you aren't living with all your best girlfriends anymore, and can you really share a bed with someone? And compromise? And then, your husband - fight as he may - becomes a great "girlfriend" ('cause you tell him everything), and your bed feels empty and lonely without him, and you want to compromise because you love him so much that you just want him to be happy above everything else.

Is that what having a baby is like? If so, I think I can handle it.

I just can't believe I'm here already. I'm still fighting the attachment to her, I'm still petrified that something is going to go horribly wrong. But in those rare moments where I allow myself to think about the good, "what ifs," I'm almost overwhelmed with excitement. Is this real life? Can it please work out and everything ends up happy and great?


I know this post is a freak-out. I reason that I can't be the ONLY person who feels this way, but nobody ever talks about this aspect. So if you can're not alone.

Why do we hate on the men?

I have recently noticed a trend online that is driving me crazy. I have seen lots of pictures and comments, mostly on Pinterest, about how men are somehow less capable than women. It especially attacks men on the home front (husbands, dads). These pictures and ecards make me angry, and I think it's because they degrade one of our most valuable relationships - our spouses. It is also a double standard. When someone questions our ability as women to work/raise a family/do all the things!, we are up in arms, saying, "We can do it! We can be perfect at EVERYTHING! Suck it men!" Seriously, this is what we do:

Tell it, Rosie!
We don't tolerate it. Which is great! We are justified in standing up for ourselves. We are not helpless, we are by no means the weaker sex, but I also believe there is no "weaker sex." Men and women were created equal, and I believe we can each do things the other sex does. This applies to men, as well as women. Why do we fight for gender equality, but turn around to undermine a man in his fatherly and household abilities?

Why do we think this sexism is ok? I'll share some examples.

Let me first say that each of these examples comes from Pinterest, and you can infer whatever you wish from what that implies. (That this information comes from a website run 99% by women, that it's not a representation of ALL women, etc. Whatever. It still bothers me that this exists.)

These first three are just about men in general, undermining them as a whole. There seems to be nothing good about them, no redeeming qualities. Unless of course, they are fictional. Because no good man can exist in real life.
Also, if these are all the problems you have...
Well done. You win life.

There ARE lots of great fictional male
characters. There's also a lot of crappy ones.
But they can't compare to a real man who
takes you to dinner and brings you

These, I can understand a little bit, because I was single for a good amount of time and dated my fair share of idiots. But I would not call these exes of mine "men" - they were little boys, unable to make decisions, contribute anything useful to you, society or even themselves. They are not without hope, but they cannot fairly be called "men." There is a difference.

I think these next ones annoy me the most.

This first one annoys me the most.
Seriously? We think we are so almighty
that we must take care of them completely?
I think this refers to the little boys I was
talking about, as well as a tendency some
have when they want everything to go their
 own way. Which is impossible in marriage.

Why do we assume a husband can't
know where things are?

Why the husband hating? Don't we all fall short in some aspects of our marriages? Why do we assume that we are the Queens of Everything in the House and men can in no way measure up? I won't add to the sexism by stating things that men generally do better than women, so can we just agree that there are uneven playing fields in every aspect of our lives?

This one annoys me simply because it suggests that women have to literally drag a man into being married. And then we complain about it? Come on.

I hate this. I hate that we undermine our men, who, in so many cases, are trying to be good husbands and fathers. And if they want to try even harder, I'm sure all we have to do is ask. Maybe ask and ask and ask, but nobody can remember everything someone wants you to do better after one time. We all have things to work on. What are we gaining by putting these men down? Why do we get defensive when they question our strength as women, and feel no shame when we do the same to them?

I will be the first to say that I am blessed with a ridiculously awesome husband. Seriously. His goodness cannot be overstated, especially in regards to me. He actively tries to make our relationship better. He is understanding when I ask him for compromise and change. I know I have to speak up, because he's no mind reader. And maybe I have just been listening to too much Boyz II Men. (Haha just kidding. That's not possible.) I know that not all men are like this, and there are some really crappy guys who just don't care. But if that's the case - why are you complaining about his faults (when we all have plenty) instead of DOING something about it? If you are unhappy in your relationship, it is your job to change it. I get that we all have our moods, and it's easy - and maybe sometimes necessary - to vent about particularly bad situations. But if this is ongoing behavior, do something to change it! There is nothing to be gained by spreading about rude comments.

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. It's just that I see these attitudes too often (on a dumb website, no less) to just blow it over. But I am amazed that this seems to be a pervasive attitude amongst many women.

I hope that we can work to be better examples of buoying up the men in our lives instead of tearing them down. I hope we can see that this attitude affects them, as well as any children who may be looking up to you to learn how to treat the men in their lives. Let's make an effort to better ourselves before we look down on the things others aren't doing perfectly, and be more patient when all isn't as you planned.

I've been working on this post for a while, and during my mental putting-it-together, my friend wrote one like it a few weeks ago. Check it out!