Monday, May 21, 2012

Not their best, but not their worst, either.

*"Are you excited about your date tonight?" -Emily's friend. I wish she would have been like, "nah."

*I love Chris H.'s speeches. "Take advantage of your time with Emily." In other words, let the fight begin.

*"This just got real." -A Contestant. Yes it did. Now that you said that.

*Mushroom farmer? Is he a dealer?

*He seems ok, kinda cocky but we'll give him a chance.

*You're expecting a plane ride, or hot air balloons? On your first date? Ok you're losing points.

*Although, I guess this IS the Bachelor.

*Groceries??! EMILY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

*"You don't go on the Bachelor thinking you'll be making cookies." -Ryan. Yes, but you don't go on the Bachelor for a hot air balloon ride, either.

*"Let's finish making these cookies so I can look like a man again." -Ryan. There is nothing sexier than a man helping in the kitchen. Man up.

*Where they getting all these cars?

*Oh my gosh. Groceries to a red-carpet greeting. And an empty restaurant.

*Ryan is contradicting himself at every turn and not being honest to answering her questions. I'm liking him less and less. He doesn't seem to get it. Or he's not being real.

*"Obviously I'd still be in control." -Emily. Obviously. She's a true woman.

*About the running/chase conversation: "As weird as that was, that was probably the most natural banter they had all night." -Rebekah H.

*Think she really does all her own makeup?

*"This is like the most kid-friendly Bachelor ever." -Breanne J.

*Stand up comedy would be the worst. That's a high-pressure situation.

*"What's going on?" -Emily. "Nothing, just wanted to come out and hang out with you for a little bit." -Charlie. That is a dirty lie!

*Did y'all see the big "Pay to the order of..." behind Charlie? The checks are getting ready!

*Kermit zips up Emily's dress. Best moment ever.

*HAHAHAHAHAHA. Chris Harrison as one of the old cranky men. This is better and better.

*Were those the best of stand up? Oh man.

*Nice hair, Miss Piggy! (During her talk show.)

*Did I just say that?

*"I find it hard to believe any of these guys will have that kind of connection." -Chris. Really? Have you ever watched this show?

*I like that Emily just puts it all out there, and asks hard questions.

*"I haven't noticed that you've been watching me." -Jef. Because you haven't been watching her either? Bad answer.

*"It's better than probably any conversation anyone's had with her." -Jef. Nope. No one's ever watched this show before.

*Kalon looks like a tool in his button up and sweater.

*"It seems like they'd rather spend time with each other than spend time with Emily." -Kalon. Well at least they're building friendships instead of sitting alone in a chair, being a d-bag.

*"I've never been confrontational." -Kalon. I'd hate to see what he thinks is "confrontational."

*"I didn't see anything special...[between Jef and Emily.]" -Chris. Well then obviously it wasn't there.

*Season's first plane ride!

*Joe seems real. I hope he gives some honest answers.

*"And I see...a beautiful, blond-haired girl." I think her name's Emily.

*The music sounds like the music they save for the proposal. Foreshadowing?

*These CARS! Vintage is the best so far. (Rebekah said it's a Rolls-Royce. Very nice!)

*The place is empty. Guesses on how much it took to rent out Greenbriar?

*These guys are really sticking up for each other. (Mostly.)

*We all wonder where Emily's money comes from, and I've guessed it's from Ricki's grandparents, her ex-fiance, and her job. But if this is where she spent time as a kid.....mystery solved.

*"In 5 years, I hope to be - well, if this works out, I'll pack up my bags and go where you are." -Joe. What part of this being the first date do people NOT understand while on this show? Jeez, even in Utah that's frowned on. At least wait for #2.

*I don't think I've ever seen someone not get a rose on the one-on-ones.

*Way to be classy, Joe. Leave in style.

*I guess the fireworks come whether they get the rose or not.

*So the music wasn't foreshadowing. Well played, ABC.

*He wants a good connection - good touch! Work it!

*NASCAR just won a ton of points, dating a girl with 2 kids. "You're so brave." -Emily

*Ryan v Tony - awkward. Do you have to stand there while she reads the note? Does she have to read the note right then? Where is the Bachelorette handbook?


*I just realized that Ryan and I have the same hairstyle.

*"Love in Christ, Ryan."

*Tony didn't complain right off, but instead made a joke. Way to make light of a really bad situation.

*"I left my son, at home..." -Tony. Oh, not on the streets?

*Oh, Emily feels like an old man, too.

*Kalon's looking at her like he's a hungry lion, and she's....a baby gazelle. (Name that movie and I'll give you a dollar.)

*Next week's is going to be a hum-DINGER!

*Also, I'm 14 weeks pregnant.

Ok! We'll see y'all soon!


  1. BAHAHAHAHAHA!My favorite part of this whole post...*Also I'm 14 weeks pregnant. So good. So so good. You are awesome. :)

  2. OMG, please tell me you're being serious! Are you 14 weeks pregnant?! :)

  3. i love your bachelor/bachelorette posts, its like we're watching together because I said the exact same things in my head when I watched.

    also, congratulations, woman - from my stalking I know its been a long road to get here, so I'm very happy for you and your family.


  5. AHHH!!! You are prego! I am SO HAPPY for you! You deserve the best! Hope it is going well! Also I look forward to your posts on the Bachelor every Tuesday so keep them coming. They entertain me like no other. So you take notes or are you that good that you remember everything?

  6. I'm so glad I read to the end! (This was the first whole episode of Bachelorette that I've ever watched, so I actually understood what you were talking about.)

    I'm so happy for you! That's incredible! We're not even close to being BFFs or anything, but I don't know if I've ever been happier to find out that anyone has ever been pregnant before! :')