Tuesday, May 29, 2012


I usually try to post immediately after the show, but ABC was a dick this week and changed the time of the show - with no warning! Usually, I'd have looked it up beforehand, but it was a busy (fun!!) day, so I got a text at 7:50 with the sad news that ABC pulled a fast one on America. Did anyone else turn on their TV with half the show gone already? If so, I guess it's ok I'm posting late, since we all missed it.

*Holy cow! Look at her bed! And her room! She's ballin'.


*Chris has such sharp features - he looks like a villain.

*"We're climbing something." -Chris. Probably the building that the ropes just slid down.

*"I don't think anyone could wear that harness better than she's wearing it." -Chris. Harnesses don't look good anyone.

*"Love is a climb, and we're starting at the bottom." -Chris. Oh man. STOP with the metaphors!

*The lightning storm is kinda beautiful in the background.

*"I want a man to stay by my side, and Chris passed the test." -Emily. Where was he going to go??!

*I think it's amazing that she has confidence issues. She's fabulous, and she just doesn't see it.

*He's 25. You're 26. Not that big a difference. Also, everyone in the world knows you're a package deal.

*"Let's play. Emily." "What do you think that means?" -A Contestant. Hahahahahahaha.

*I'm so jealous of that storm!!!!

*Second country concert, third episode.

*"Can I give you a kiss at the end of this song?" -Chris. Dislike.

*What does Jef use to style his hair?!???

*It's gonna get wild. -wolf

*Ryan telling her he wouldn't love on her if she got fat? Man, he does not get women.

*Did she play with the kids at all?

*Sean is shiny!

*Doug! That is heartbreaking!!

*Ryan is being manipulative! Asking about Tony's son....

*The music is killing me.

*"You can drive a stick shift?" -Kalon. Are you sh*tting me right now?!?!?

*Awww. Sweet pep talk, Doug.

*On her other breakups she's been straightforward, and now she's trying to spare his feelings and being so sweet. But did she ever come out and say, "You need to go home?"

*Ryan, you have no real connection. So far your relationship with Emily is all about you. And her not getting fat. So I guess we'll see.

*I like how Arie is just about "let's see if there's a connection." And he's just excited about the date, and getting to know Emily.

*Everyone's going on and on about how CUTE Arie is, and I guess he's alright, but I don't really see it. His hair is beautiful, though. I'd kill for that hair.

*Six months ago I would have killed for ANY hair.

*Man, she's taking him to Dollywood - she is NOT shy! Just lay all your quirks bare, babe. I don't get why people say she has no personality. She's got personality coming out of her every orifice.

*"I didn't think Dolly Parton would be into [having a theme park]." -Arie. Maybe not, but I bet her bank account is. And her agent.

*"We need to win something for Ricki." -Arie. Awwww! He's going far.

*"He might have a little country in him." -Emily. Girl, he's a racecar driver. He is ALL country!

*Dolly's guitar is blingin'! You go girl!

*Third country concert, third episode.

*I'm no pervert, but I canNOT take my eyes off Dolly's boobs!!! They're hypnotizing!

*Forehead kiss!?!! *melt*

*I hear that a lot, that in dating a single mom/dad, the other person misses the kids more than they miss their ex. I guess kids are a pretty big deal.

*I don't think you can ever be "ready" for kids, you just have to be willing. Oh, did Arie just say that? We're on the same page. I'm liking him more and more.

*He's asking hard questions too! I like him!!

*This is the first real, genuine, relaxed conversation I've seen on this season. Possibly on the show, ever.

*She's going to make him sweat over this rose. She wants him bad; she's totally messing.



*Arie: Turning on women across America!

*My neck is still shivering from that touch. That happened months ago, hundreds of miles away.

*"Where did you come from?" -Emily. I like that he didn't say something cheesy, or ask her back, or say something douche-y. So many of the other guys would have. He just cuddled her more and kissed her. He is fabulous!!!! (Brought up by Rebekah H. and agreed on by the rest of us.) Love love love him. I'm pleasantly surprised, I figured since everyone had such high expectations for him, that he'd crash and burn.

*No socks. Douche. (On Kalon's suit/shoes/no socks combo.)

*"I think he's genuine." -Emily about Kalon. Negative. Why do they never see the villain for who they really are?

*"I love it when you talk, but I wish you'd let me finish." -Kalon. Ok, first of all, literally seconds before, we were mentioning how HE never let HER finish anything; secondly, you're a condescending (thanks, Emily, that's the perfect word) control freak; and third of all, you best man up and respect a woman. You are not all that. Truly. I hope all the single women where he's from are watching this.

*Michelle C: "This is the nicest he will ever be to her in their relationship, so that is a giant red flag." Truth.

*Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Keep digging your hole. Let her think you don't want anything to do with Ricki since she's not "yours." She'll love it.

*He named the egg Shelly? I don't know his name, but I know his egg's.

*Never thought that'd be something I'd say.

*Alessandro's hair is awful. Welcome Ben of the season. It was also most definitely curled with an iron.

*Having kids is a compromise? You're out!

*What's with Emily's boots? And SUPER unflattering dress? Nice to know there's something she doesn't look smokin' in.

*How was he not expecting to be sent home after saying all that?

*I wish they showed what she said to kick him out.

*Exit Ben of the season.

*Someone clean up the mess!

*Aaaaaaaaand Enter Arie. Of course. He's superman.

**Perfect. I meant perfect. And Emily thinks so too, because she is the one initiating allllllll those kisses!

*And Ryan gets the jealousy award, AND the shallowness award for not realizing that connections come from more than just trying to be charming. And the obnoxious award for thinking you're better than everyone. How are he and Kalon not fighting yet? They can't both be best.

*"I don't want to get ahead of myself..." -Sean. Which is a guarantee that you're about to.

*Those kisses were not nearly as good. Shame.

*No surprises on the rose ceremony, but thank goodness Bad Facial Hair is going home. That half goatee wasn't doing you any favors. But I don't like how smug Kalon is.

*Ryan is losing even more points, FAST. Just because you're "good at everything you do," (you were good at getting awards a second ago) doesn't mean everywomanever is going to fall for you. Also, it's still not a game. Also, you're very rude and shallow. Are you going home yet?

*There's overseas dates already??? It seems so early!

*Five bucks that the song Kokomo by the Beach Boys makes an appearance next week.

EDIT: Apparently Alessandro did other things to convince Emily to kick him to the curb. Here's her blog: http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20599218,00.html .  There was definitely more going on beneath the surface that made him a weirdo. And it explained the boots/dress combo.


  1. Oh my gosh what a crazy episode. I love love love Arie! And yes what product does Jef use for his hair? Read her blog about Alessandro, what a crazy! Vampire detector. Come on now. Also Ryan is an A-Hole. That is it.

  2. I watched for like five minutes, I saw the egg smash and the guy with no socks, who used the I like it when you talk, but love it when you let me finish line, he is clueless when it comes to chicks. But maybe I am too using a word like chicks. But I want to know if you are bugged about the guy with the weird hair, all slick on top but curled up on the ends, like he is wearing a hat or something. I mean cut your hair, you would look so much better.