Wednesday, October 17, 2012

When does the political season end?

The second round of presidential debates were tonight. That was a bummer to watch - two grown men arguing about who did what and why the other person sucks. It pissed me off for a minute, and then some parts made me laugh because, seriously? Are you adults? And I have no problem discussing politics, but I never post about them because rarely does that lead to an actual "discussion." But that's ok. So instead I get on Facebook and look for funny things, except, oh - is everyone posting about the debates??

Good golly. Can't escape it. So if you were one of the few people who posted a political light-hearted post, or something completely different, thanks for making my evening a little brighter.

And then Harry Potter was on, and it was Goblet of Fire, when they're still growing into their puberty and I forgot how big Daniel Radcliffe's nose is in that one! Or how nerdy Neville looks.

A little SNL humor on the Undecided Voter:

Sunday, October 7, 2012

Is this baby real life?

Well, it's less than two weeks until I give birth aaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnddddddddddddddd...

I've been so torn!

This whole pregnancy, I've been fighting getting attached to this baby. I know it's crazy. I should be thrilled - and I am. I should be so grateful - and I am. I should be anxious, in a good way - and I am. It's just that I'm also scared, nervous, anxious in a bad way, preoccupied, and lots of other not-so-pleasant emotions. And did I mention scared? It took me a really long time to feel excited about this pregnancy, and even more time to feel attached to her, and even that comes and goes. It's just that when past experience teaches you that A + B = trauma, it's hard to later believe that A + B = joy. It's hard, when that similar situation arises, to automatically push aside your anxiety and see the present for what it is, and ONLY for what it is. So, I fight it. I don't believe that this is going to end in a baby. Honest to goodness, I see us going to the hospital in two weeks and leaving with nothing. What baby? What's this nursery we have set up? I'm not sure why we have all that stuff, it's obviously not for MY child. Should we give it away to one of my gazillion friends who had babies recently? No joke - I've had 7 friends give birth this week. THIS WEEK. Nine or ten this month, and maybe....15 since June?

And while that seems like a side note, it's turning out to be pretty significant. Most of these girls, I was there for their announcement. (Facebook counts as being present, right? I mean that I've known these girls pre-, during and now post-pregnancy.) And now I see these beautiful, healthy babies, and it doesn't escape my attention that it will be my situation so soon. Whether I believe it or not, I WILL (God-willing - see? Still skeptical) be coming home with a beautiful baby girl on October 25th. I see these tiny babies and realize that I will be responsible for my own very, very soon, and it's starting to hit home. Finally.

And I am getting so excited.



Guys, it's overwhelming even just to know that you're going to be a parent. Then there's the preparation and things sink in even more, and soon you're at the gates and wondering what it all even means. Is this real life?

Being a mother has been my ultimate goal for as long as I can remember. I know that's cheesy and some would think pretty typical of a Mormon girl - I mean, right? But really. I'm passionate about families, so making my own only makes perfect sense. And I'm here. I'm finally here.

It's like getting married all over again - you know your life is about to change for the better, and you're getting excited. But you're also nervous, because you've never been here before, and there's a lot of bad things people say about it, and then there's the good, and then you aren't living with all your best girlfriends anymore, and can you really share a bed with someone? And compromise? And then, your husband - fight as he may - becomes a great "girlfriend" ('cause you tell him everything), and your bed feels empty and lonely without him, and you want to compromise because you love him so much that you just want him to be happy above everything else.

Is that what having a baby is like? If so, I think I can handle it.

I just can't believe I'm here already. I'm still fighting the attachment to her, I'm still petrified that something is going to go horribly wrong. But in those rare moments where I allow myself to think about the good, "what ifs," I'm almost overwhelmed with excitement. Is this real life? Can it please work out and everything ends up happy and great?


I know this post is a freak-out. I reason that I can't be the ONLY person who feels this way, but nobody ever talks about this aspect. So if you can're not alone.

Why do we hate on the men?

I have recently noticed a trend online that is driving me crazy. I have seen lots of pictures and comments, mostly on Pinterest, about how men are somehow less capable than women. It especially attacks men on the home front (husbands, dads). These pictures and ecards make me angry, and I think it's because they degrade one of our most valuable relationships - our spouses. It is also a double standard. When someone questions our ability as women to work/raise a family/do all the things!, we are up in arms, saying, "We can do it! We can be perfect at EVERYTHING! Suck it men!" Seriously, this is what we do:

Tell it, Rosie!
We don't tolerate it. Which is great! We are justified in standing up for ourselves. We are not helpless, we are by no means the weaker sex, but I also believe there is no "weaker sex." Men and women were created equal, and I believe we can each do things the other sex does. This applies to men, as well as women. Why do we fight for gender equality, but turn around to undermine a man in his fatherly and household abilities?

Why do we think this sexism is ok? I'll share some examples.

Let me first say that each of these examples comes from Pinterest, and you can infer whatever you wish from what that implies. (That this information comes from a website run 99% by women, that it's not a representation of ALL women, etc. Whatever. It still bothers me that this exists.)

These first three are just about men in general, undermining them as a whole. There seems to be nothing good about them, no redeeming qualities. Unless of course, they are fictional. Because no good man can exist in real life.
Also, if these are all the problems you have...
Well done. You win life.

There ARE lots of great fictional male
characters. There's also a lot of crappy ones.
But they can't compare to a real man who
takes you to dinner and brings you

These, I can understand a little bit, because I was single for a good amount of time and dated my fair share of idiots. But I would not call these exes of mine "men" - they were little boys, unable to make decisions, contribute anything useful to you, society or even themselves. They are not without hope, but they cannot fairly be called "men." There is a difference.

I think these next ones annoy me the most.

This first one annoys me the most.
Seriously? We think we are so almighty
that we must take care of them completely?
I think this refers to the little boys I was
talking about, as well as a tendency some
have when they want everything to go their
 own way. Which is impossible in marriage.

Why do we assume a husband can't
know where things are?

Why the husband hating? Don't we all fall short in some aspects of our marriages? Why do we assume that we are the Queens of Everything in the House and men can in no way measure up? I won't add to the sexism by stating things that men generally do better than women, so can we just agree that there are uneven playing fields in every aspect of our lives?

This one annoys me simply because it suggests that women have to literally drag a man into being married. And then we complain about it? Come on.

I hate this. I hate that we undermine our men, who, in so many cases, are trying to be good husbands and fathers. And if they want to try even harder, I'm sure all we have to do is ask. Maybe ask and ask and ask, but nobody can remember everything someone wants you to do better after one time. We all have things to work on. What are we gaining by putting these men down? Why do we get defensive when they question our strength as women, and feel no shame when we do the same to them?

I will be the first to say that I am blessed with a ridiculously awesome husband. Seriously. His goodness cannot be overstated, especially in regards to me. He actively tries to make our relationship better. He is understanding when I ask him for compromise and change. I know I have to speak up, because he's no mind reader. And maybe I have just been listening to too much Boyz II Men. (Haha just kidding. That's not possible.) I know that not all men are like this, and there are some really crappy guys who just don't care. But if that's the case - why are you complaining about his faults (when we all have plenty) instead of DOING something about it? If you are unhappy in your relationship, it is your job to change it. I get that we all have our moods, and it's easy - and maybe sometimes necessary - to vent about particularly bad situations. But if this is ongoing behavior, do something to change it! There is nothing to be gained by spreading about rude comments.

Maybe I'm being overly sensitive. It's just that I see these attitudes too often (on a dumb website, no less) to just blow it over. But I am amazed that this seems to be a pervasive attitude amongst many women.

I hope that we can work to be better examples of buoying up the men in our lives instead of tearing them down. I hope we can see that this attitude affects them, as well as any children who may be looking up to you to learn how to treat the men in their lives. Let's make an effort to better ourselves before we look down on the things others aren't doing perfectly, and be more patient when all isn't as you planned.

I've been working on this post for a while, and during my mental putting-it-together, my friend wrote one like it a few weeks ago. Check it out!

Wednesday, September 26, 2012

The Great Divorce 4

This is my last Divorce post, and you're probably so grateful huh? :)

Lewis and MacDonald are talking again, this time (again) about why angels don't go down to hell to save souls. MacDonald takes a blade of grass, and with it, points out a crack in the dirt that is one of many through which the bus Lewis came in on might have traveled through. Lewis argues that he had seen an infinite abyss, and cliffs, and then this country on top of those cliffs.

MacDonald: Aye. But the voyage was not mere locomotion. That bus, and all you inside it, were increasing in size.
Lewis: Do you mean then that Hell - all that infinite empty town - is down in some little crack like this?
MacDonald: Yes. All Hell is smaller than one pebble of your earthly world: but it is smaller than one atom of this world, the Real World. Look at yon butterfly. If it swallowed all Hell, Hell would not be big enough to do it any harm or to have any taste.
Lewis: It seems big enough when you're in it.
MacDonald: And yet all loneliness, angers, hatreds, envies, and itchings that it contains, if rolled into one single experience and put into the scale against the least moment of joy that is felt by the least in Heaven, would have no weight that could be registered at all. Bad cannot succeed even in being bad as truly as good is good. If all Hell's miseries together entered the consciousness of yon wee yellowbird on the bough there, they would be swallowed up without a trace, as if one drop of ink had been dropped into that Great Ocean to which your terrestrial Pacific itself is only a molecule.
"Only the Greatest of all can make Himself small enough to enter Hell. For the higher a thing is, the lower it can descend."

Think about all the hells you've been through. Could you honestly say that your smallest joy swallows up your greatest pain? I can't say that. Maybe someday? I don't know. But I'm also not in Heaven. I like the idea of it, and I hope it's true. But I definitely don't feel that way now.

The Great Divorce 3

In this scene, a mother Ghost and her brother Spirit are talking about the passing of the mother's son, Michael, when he was just a boy. The mother is bitter that God took Michael away, and is focused solely on seeing him again. Her brother argues that she needs to come to love God before she can see her son again, or coming to Heaven will have been in vain. She must understand that God has also waited and suffered to see His children, and that He loves them.

Mother: If He loved me He'd let me see my boy. If He loved why did He take Michael away from me? I wasn't going to say anything about that. But it's pretty hard to forgive, you know.
Brother: But He had to take Michael away. Partly for Michael's sake...
Mother: I'm sure I did my best to make Michael happy. I gave up my whole life...
Brother: Human beings can't make one another really happy for long. And secondly, for your sake. He wanted your merely instinctive love for your child (tigresses share that, you know!) to turn into something better. He wanted you to love Michael as He understands love. You cannot love a fellow creature fully till you love God.

They continue on arguing, the mother fierce in her defense of her love for her son, while her brother tries to help her see that hey love would have turned sour because she never loved him as God loves us. It was uncontrolled. Isn't that interesting, that love, with all good intentions, can be uncontrolled and completely ruin the relationship? Yet again, we need to use our passions within the bounds the Lord sets.

Mother then says that the past was all she had, and the brother argues that it was all she chose to have. This part stuck out to me because I've seen it in myself, and definitely seen it in others around me. When the past is so good, what possible joy could the present bring? Nothing could compare, therefore we live as life once was. It's incredibly depressing.

Mother: Oh, of course, I'm wrong. Everything I say or do is wrong, according to you.
"But of course!" said the Spirit, shining with love and mirth so that my eyes were dazzled. "That's what we all find when we reach this country. We've all been wrong! That's the great joke. There's no need to go on pretending one was right! After that we being living."

At first, this part made me sad because I have a lot of pride. Am I wrong? (Obviously.) How am I wrong? (Probably in every way.) And yet, this Spirit is so full of joy with what he has come to know, that his past wrong knowledge doesn't even matter. He is so happy that he has found peace that it doesn't bother him that it wasn't his way. Will I have the courage and humility to accept that when the time comes?

Thinking about it more, I like it because it gives me hope - God doesn't care that I've been wrong, he cares that I accept His truth when I learn it. I can live with that.

Monday, September 3, 2012

The Great Divorce 2

In this scene, the main character (Lewis himself) is talking to the Spirit who came to try and persuade him to go into the mountains - it is his hero, George MacDonald. Lewis is asking MacDonald why all the Ghosts must come to Heaven, and then be persuaded. If the Spirits wanted them to be happy, why didn't they go down into Hell to rescue them? MacDonald said that the Spirits actually come quite far from the mountains to rescue Ghosts - their purpose is to journey further and further into the mountains, so when they come back for the Ghosts, they are coming immeasurable distances on the slim chance of saving one person.

Lewis: But what of all the poor Ghosts who never get into the onmibus at all?
MacDonald: Everyone who wishes it does. Never fear. There are only two kinds of people in the end: those who say to God, "Thy will be done," and those to whom God says, in the end, "Thy will be done." All that are in Hell, choose it. Without that self-choice there could be no Hell. No soul that seriously and constantly desires joy will ever miss it. Those who seek find. To those who knock it is opened.

I can see how some people could read this and think that God is being mean-spirited, or doesn't care if we go to Hell or not. But really, isn't this what He does on a daily basis already? We constantly make our own choices and he will never stop that - so if we choose that we will be happier in Hell, living our sin, then that's what He'll let us do.

This so logically states the reason - and the goodness - that comes from having our agency. It's beautiful.

Saturday, August 25, 2012

I don't always brag about my husband

....but when I do it's because he's super cute.

Our vacuum was regifted to us by Chris's mother early in our marriage, who had used it for her cleaning business (so daily or weekly for a few years). It's had some wear and tear. Finally, it's to the point where we can no longer use it and still feel good about our apartment's cleanliness.

St. Croix, US Virgin Islands
Yep. They are moving here. So lucky.
Well, today we picked up some luggage on sale for my oldest brother (whose family is moving to St. Croix, Virgin Islands, lucky sons of.....) at a liquidation store I JUST realized existed, and we chanced upon some smashing deals on vacuums! It was quite timely, and we decided to buy one that was brand new for a really great price. That, plus a couple Redboxes on our way home, and we were ready to relax for the afternoon.

I was, anyway; Chris was ready to use our new purchase. Not the movies - the vacuum!

No, seriously, the boy set up and used the vacuum for the next 45 minutes. He was SO excited about it! We had vacuumed the house yesterday, and he went through it again, roughly, and somehow it picked up like a cup and a half of dust. Chris couldn't get over how well it worked and tried out all the attachments and everything. He even took off the grate over the air vent and vacuumed off the filter. He was so excited! Like Andy with Buzz Lightyear!

To Infinity - And All The Corners
Of The Apartment!

*Chris would like it known that he did all this in a manly fashion. "His muscles rippled as he controlled the vacuum with the strength and ease of a bodybuilder....directing traffic...." Well, obviously.

How many wives can say their husbands love their new vacuum?

I find it really funny, and also endearing. :)

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

The Great Divorce

I just finished reading The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis; during the book, I realized that I had actually read it before and simply forgotten. But it was worth reading again. I just wanted to write a couple things that stood out to me.

To start out: If you haven't read it, it's a book like unto the Screwtape Letters - a satirical Christian apologetic. The Great Divorce is written in first person, and the man talking (the Lewis-man himself) is waiting for a bus with many others, who are referred to as Ghosts, in a gray, lifeless city. We learn that this city is purgatory/hell, depending on how long one stays there. The bus takes them up and away, and they arrive at a bright, colorful land with mountains in the distance, where they can walk around and explore. The land, however, is harsh to them, made of a more solid substance than they, but they are told if they stay they will get used to it. Meanwhile, people (Spirits) come from the mountains to persuade the Ghosts to come with them to live - where light is bright and other Spirits live. If they go, they must give up vices that are holding them back. The book is mostly the main character listening to arguments between Ghosts and Spirits about why they should or shouldn't go.

This conversation is between two who were former intellectuals.
Spirit: Do you really think there are no sins of intellect?
Ghost: There are indeed, Dick. There is hide-bound prejudice, and intellectual dishonesty, and timidity, and and stagnation. But honest opinions fearlessly followed - they are not sins.
S: I know we used to talk that way. I did it too until the end of my life when I became what you call narrow. It all turns on what are honest opinions.
G: Mine certainly were. They were not only honest but heroic. I asserted them fearlessly. When the doctrine of the Resurrection ceased to commend itself to the critical faculties which God had given me, I openly rejected it. I preached my famous sermon. I defied the whole chapter. I took every risk.
S: What risk? What was at all likely to come of it except what actually came - popularity, sales for your books, invitations, and finally a bishopric?
G: Dick, this is unworthy of you. What are you suggesting?
S: Friend, I am not suggesting it at all. You see, I know now. Let us be frank. Our opinions were not honestly come by. We simply found ourselves, in contact with a certain current of ideas and plunged into it because it seemed modern and successful. At College, you know, we just started automatically writing the kind of essays that got good marks and saying the kind of things that won applause. When, in our whole lives, did we honestly face, in solitude, the one question on which all turned: whether after all the Supernatural might not in fact occur? When did we put up one moment's real resistance to the loss of our faith?

I love C.S. Lewis. I love how he uses logic to prove a spiritual point, that he recognizes that there are many things we can sin over, and that he teaches about sins we may not think about, or may not even think are sins - yet, clearly, they can be. How often are we so caught up in a mortal idea that we forget that there are greater things than what our minds can fathom? So often, that we forget that there are things more important than the cultural ideas of the day?

The Ghost and Spirit continue talking, and the Ghost asks, if he does go into the mountains, will he at least be allowed free thinking? The Spirit responds that he is going to a land of answers, and that he will no longer be thirsty for knowledge because his thirst will be quenched.

Spirit: Listen! Once, you were a child. Once, you knew what inquiry was for. There was a time when you asked questions because you wanted answers, and were glad when you had found them. Become that child again, even now.
Ghost: Ah, but when I became a man I put away childish things.
Spirit: You have gone far wrong. Thirst was made for water; inquiry for truth. What you now call the free play of inquiry has neither more nor less to do with the ends for which intelligence was given you than masturbation has to do with marriage.

I love that he's not afraid to just tell it like it is.

While a thirst for knowledge is good, we mustn't go willy-nilly with it. There are bounds to everything the Lord has set; knowledge is no different. When we have found truth, settle. Be content.

There's a lot that stuck out to me in this book; I'll have a couple more posts coming :)

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Why I'm not ever ever ever ever allowed to ever watch another scary movie, ever

Sorry about the split infinitive. It had to be done.

This post could also be called, "Here, Internet and Friends! Learn More About My Ridiculousness!"

The happy pictures are so I
can still be happy while
reading this
I have a rule that I'm not allowed to watch scary movies. It's right up there with, "don't do for yourself something someone else can do for you if it's already cheaper and better." The one time I broke that, I made homemade Twix. Come on, Rosanne. You knew better. Anyway, the reason I broke the scary movie rule was because it starred Daniel Radcliffe. And despite what others may say, I think he's actually turned out to be a pretty decent actor, plus I have my unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter. So you see why I couldn't pass it up. Plus, it didn't look THAT scary!

Big mistake.

(And just FYI, the rest of this post will contain spoilers for The Woman In Black.)

To me, anything that makes a scary movie so is when its plot can somehow be justified or explained, no matter how far-fetched. I'll be creeped out by any kind of demon-like figure (never will I ever watch the Walking Dead because of this. Duh) or "scary" sound, even when I know it's some intern banging on the pipes. Sometimes, it's ok when I can justify a way out the the plot and see how it could never happen, but that's kinda rare. I finally stop being scared when I have a concrete, logical reason for why the movie could never be real. Ever.

Not so with The Woman In Black. Ugh, I can't even say the words without being super freaked out that she's standing behind me. (At this point in writing the post, I had to stop. It was 12:30 AM, Chris was asleep and I was alone with my the dark. They could no longer include scary things. It is now noon and bright outside. I'm good.) That movie was creeeeeeppyyy! The basis started out ok - Daniel had to go to the Big Scary House - though he didn't know it was scary yet - and make sure the will his company had was her last and real will. NBD. He left his son behind with his nanny (his wife had died in childbirth) and off he goes. Once he's there, he meets animosity and resistance from the townspeople, and soon learns that it's because of the woman in black. She's the old homeowner's sister, and she had a baby out of wedlock so her sister adopted him to save face. Well, one day their carriage got stuck in the marshes and the child died, and so the real mother killed herself. She now haunts the village and makes the children kill themselves. I'm not sh*tting you. The movie is about a ghost that makes children - CHILDREN - commit suicide!
Cute Labrador Puppies Wallpaper 3
Cute puppies!

What the hell were you thinking, Hollywood?!? Can you make a creepier plotline? I thought it was just a haunted story, not a sadistic one! And the movie doesn't even end on a happy note! Daniel does all he can - he thinks reuniting them will end her terror, but then, she goes off and makes his own son jump in front of a train! The end! (Daniel jumps too, to try and save him, and they both die. Awesome. It DOES show them reuniting with his wife, which is like the only good part of the whole thing.)

Ok, so I knew it was going to be scary, but I hadn't heard that it was THAT scary so I thought I'd be ok. But then, for the next three nights, I couldn't sleep. I can't remember what, but something took it briefly off my mind for a day or two, and then for two-plus weeks, I was afraid of the dark because I thought she was lurking in every corner. I checked the baby's room, even though it's not even set up yet - because I was afraid she'd hide there, waiting for my baby come so she could make her kill herself. (I know I'm a little child but writing that makes me want to cry.) I'd check the living room, then close all the doors - she didn't go through any doors in the movie. HA! I'd show her! And then I'd curl up in bed and browse Pinterest humor boards until I was tired enough to go to sleep. It got scary when I'd have to get up to pee, but I had a good flashlight until I could turn on the lights, so it at least got me through that.

Repeat. Every night.

Here are the rational thoughts I'd already tried on my own as to why it could never work:

  • The "She can't go through doors thing" (she could still be elsewhere, ready to spring at any moment)
  • Telling myself that Daniel's selfless sacrifice in trying to save his son at the end of the movie broke the curse (no proof)
  • Keeping lights on as much as possible (she's still out there)
  • Remembering that babies can't kill themselves (she'd find a way)
  • "It's fiction and she couldn't exist" (could too!)
  • God wouldn't let it happen (God lets a lot of unfair things happen)
All to no avail. She was still lurking in the house somewhere, the little b*tch.

Happy couple!
Sometimes, Chris would wake up briefly, and I'd say something really quick about being scared, but once he's asleep, he's pretty out of it until morning. So finally, a couple nights ago, I made sure we went to bed early enough that I could talk about my fear and somehow rationally get through it.

I needed to talk through it with Chris, no matter how ridiculous I sounded. This rationalization was getting me nowhere, and it was getting me exhausted.

He knew I'd been scared, so I recapped my fears and coping methods and tried other approaches. We talked through what happened - and suddenly, I had a breakthrough.

I believe we can feel spiritual influences from beyond, good and bad. I'm not sure if I believe that people can see ghosts randomly, or that might have worked - but I think we can at least feel presences. I ALSO believe that God gave us the freedom to choose what we can and cannot do with our lives, and nobody not NOBODY can take that away. Well, *duh* Rosanne! Even if she DID exist, she can't make you or your baby or anyone do JACK SH*T! You get to decide what you do with your life, not some made up ghost out for revenge. That is one thing I'm sure of that God would never take away.

Yay no more sadness!
Why didn't I think of this before? Something about talking through it with Chris brought this all to light. And I felt a lot more peace about it. And finally, I was not scared.


After three weeks! Jeez, Rosanne, really?

This is why I can never ever ever ever ever watch....

You get the point.

(The happy pictures are so that when I read this again, it's easier to think happy thoughts.)

Anyone know how to source these in a less annoying way?)

Monday, July 30, 2012

Olympics! Wahoo!

Yay London 2012! This is the first time I've ever been really into watching the Olympics. I've always had an attraction to the artsy Opening Ceremonies, but in high school, I was too busy sleeping or something to watch events, and in college I was too social and flighty to focus on what was on and when.

This year, I still don't know what's necessarily on at what time, but I know that primetime = 4 hours of Chris and I (and sometimes friends) on the couch, watching the best of the best strut their stuff. How did I never get into this before?!? This stuff is golden!

I think part of the greatness is hearing what the commentators have to say.

Did y'all see when Larson on the USA Women's swim team jumped into the water too soon because the sound malfunctioned? First of all, what an awesome mistake to make, but also, how did nobody else jump in when the buzzer went off? That was tricky. But the commentator said, "It looks like she might have jumped in a little early."

Oh, is that so? She "might have?" LOLz! I was laughing about her incident (not AT her; it very well could have happened to anyone. Indeed, why didn't it happen to more of them?), but really - I mean, nobody's going to remember her for winning the silver*, but THAT, she'll go down for.

A not favorite moment: Japanese Men's Gymnastics vying - and winning - silver as a team. Really, you can file a protest for a score? Seriously?! Come on, Olympic Committee. Who thought that would be a good idea? Plus, you have to pay to do it. Soooo all the rich countries have no issues, but the poor ones are OUT. That's too bad. I say let it stand what the judges originally said.

Well anyway. I'm sure I'll have more to say as the next two weeks go on. I'm excited to keep watching!

*I guess I was wrong, and she didn't win the silver. But then that ruined my post, so, now, you're informed, and I still sound cool.

Monday, July 23, 2012

The Words I Couldn't Say....But Lydia Can

Ever since I stumbled across the Rants From Mommyland blog, I connected with it immediately. It's strange because it's all about motherhood and I'm barely pregnant now, much less when I found it, but I love their style, sense of humor, and good-natured self-deprecation. And I just agree with pretty much everything they say.

This story is no different. Have you heard of the girl who got raped at a party? Her attackers posted photos and then got away pretty dang easily, probably because they plead (pled? past tense) guilty. She, in turn, posted their names on Twitter and is facing possible jail time, because she was not allowed to discuss the case because it involved minors. The rapists are upset because now people know who they are.

Well, guess what, shitheads? You raped a teenage girl, someone you knew, and bragged about it. And now you're pissed that you got called out?

I can't go on, because I will offend with my language. I just wanted to post the link to what RFM had to say. It's perfect.

I just feel that if she was brave enough to stand up to them with the possibility of legal action, she deserves to know she's not alone. I totally agree with what she did, even if it was done out of anger. I would have done the same. It was incredibly brave for her to speak up.

You go, Savannah Deitrich!

EDIT: I just read that the attackers dropped the charges of contempt. Halle-freaking-lujah.

Sunday, July 22, 2012

Spoiler Alert!

I'm dying of anticipation. I can't handle this!!!

What I think - She doesn't pick wither of them during the episode and things all end in the After The Final Rose. I think this because she is obviously still indecisive with both of them, but there are also no shots of anyone walking up to propose, and that has been a must have of the previous seasons. I'm just saying.

What I hope - she and Jef and Ricki live happily ever after. The end.

*I love that the first teaser is Emily saying, "Are you nervous?" YESSSS!!!!!!!!!!!

*She's the only person I believe when she's like, "I actually want this to work."

*STOP IT with the dramatic music! Especially with Jef!

*Speaking of Ricki - where IS she while Jef is here? Sequestered in an upstairs bedroom?

*"She's more beautiful on the inside than she is on the outside. And she's a beautiful girl." -Emily's mom. Truth.

*Seriously? He's her brother? They look NOTHING alike.

*I don't like that Jef went first. I want Arie to have gone first, and they're like, "Arie was great, but Jef is everything she wants."

*How she's saying that she wants them to give Arie a fair chance "'cause he deserves it more than anybody" is very telling.

*No gift, Arie?

*Wow! Dad loves Jef!

*I know this is a personal thing, but I don't get how you can live with a woman and love her and not be ready for marriage?

*I don't want to hear the audience laughing. This is weird.

*In case you haven't met Emily, you can tell her whatever you think but you won't ever tell her "what to do." Come on, brother.

*Can dad give his blessing to two different men?

*Does that seem awkward to anyone else?

*It seems like he's so cocky. I don't like it. Rebekah thinks that he's just got a different upbringing.

*Of course it's hard for them to pick one. They met them both for less than a day when they had time to be practicing answers.

*"I don't believe you can love two people at once." -Emily's dad. I disagree.

*Why don't they run to each other? I just have so much built up emotion! Don't they?!?!

*"What are you stressed about?" -Jef. Hmm.....

*Jef talking about Ricki is sooooooooooooooo sweet!

*I like that is questions are hard but insightful and not accusatory.

*SHUT UP. She's gonna let him meet her?

*When she said, "Let's just do it today," my mind went immediately to the gutter. What?? Haha I knew that's not what she meant but my mind is just in the gutter.

*That conversation was so natural. The silences weren't awkward, they were insightful and thoughtful.

*I like that she's nervous that Ricki might not like Jef. It shows he means so much to her, when so much of what she says seems to point to Arie.

*Ricki's got good swimming form for a 6-year-old!

*I love him with Ricki!

*Jef with pink goggles!! Hahahahaha!

*So, mine and Chris's baby is a girl, and I've ALWAYS wanted a boy first, but watching them with Ricki, it makes me excited to have a little girl. She's so sweet.

*Our TV spazzed for a second and all four of us about LOST our MINDS!! It was maybe half a second - we couldn't handle it.

*What does Jef's forearm tattoo say?

*Did Jef get a haircut since pool time?

*"Should we go back up? I miss the guys." -Jef. He's hilarious.

*Thank you. Thank you. Thank you? Thank you. Thank you.


*Aw, a book about Curacao.

*Stick figure Jef and Emily!!!

*If she doesn't pick Jef, she's f***ing lost her mind. (From my perspective, seeing 10% of their relationship.)

*She's wearing her talks-to-Chris-Harrison outfi- She's going to break up with Arie?!?!!?

*Oh my gosh.

*My heart is FLYING!!!!!!!!!!!

*Oh no. Ok so she picks Jef - so far - but if this is an "emotional" ending with surprises, then does Arie come back?!??!

*Arie's gonna be pissed if he doesn't get a chance with Ricki.

*I'm so happy. I'm soooooooooooooo happy!!


*This cut with Arie is really mean to include.

*He's going to know right off the bat, she does NOT hide her emotions well.

*That was so hard to watch. He handled it soooo well. He really wanted to get out of there but he still was respectful and kind to her. Shows a lot of man to control himself like that.

*Emily pondering over the mossy, muddy stream...what?

*I DON'T care about the audience.

*That was the most pointless in-between-commercials I've ever seen.

*I got all excited that she was writing Jef a letter. Turns out it's her journal.

*Have I mentioned how happy I am!??!?!

*I'm surprised they didn't show any teasers of her standing there, waiting for the man.

*I love that his proposal isn't over the top. It's so natural, and easy going - just like they are.

*She's sneaky! Of course she said yes!!!

*The 80's music!! I can't handle the cuteness.

*She's incredibly smart to have not read the journal - for Arie's sake, but most especially for Jef's, and for her own sanity. When she and Jef have hard times, it would have been so easy for her to look back on those "perfect" memories with Arie and wonder if things would have been different.

*It says a lot about the kind of men Jef and Arie are that they can still be good friends.

*I love how chill and relaxed she looks with him - not like with Brad, she was so proper.

*I like that "gorgeous" wasn't the first thing he says - he respects so much about her.

*"She is very quickly becoming my universe as well." -Jef. Of all the cute things he's said, that one melted my heart most. I'M falling in love with Ricki!

*I love their relationship because it reminds me of mine with my husband.

*I love watching the inset of Jef and Emily watching the proposal.

*Haha Curacao to Africa.

*Charleston - the wedding will be where Jef's parents are 'cause they can't leave. That's sweet!

*Awwwww, Jef's moving to Charlotte? I guess that's good, I won't be tempted to stalk them.

I'm so content, I have nothing more to say. Yay for Jef and Emily! And love! And happiness!

Monday, July 16, 2012

What a boring episode

Bet I hooked you with that title, didn't I?? :)

I forget why I watch the Men Tell All. All it is is fighting over the same things they've already fought about and flashbacks to the show. Ummmm, nobody who's watching this episode doesn't already know what happened this season. Come on guys. Stop wasting our time.

I think it's just to tide us over 'cause I'm gonna lose my mind waiting for Sunday.

But if you now choose, I'll waste your time with my few comments. You may leave now. I won't be offended.

*Emily's dress on her date with Joe WAS gorgeous. For reals.

*Bachelor Pad - first of all, Blakely, if you need to put food in your fridge, why are you wasting time on a TV show instead of working at a full time job? Do they get paid to be on Bachelor Pad?

*Tony - WTF are you doing away from your son again? Remember how you almost died from separation anxiety on Bachelorette? I don't get it.

*Chris, I have lost all the shred of respect I have for you. You are being an ass.

*Back to MTA - Poor Stevie still doesn't know he has a bush growing on his chin.

*If this is all recaps, I'm gonna lose my mind.

*Nice pink pants, Wolf. (I really do kinda like them.)

*OK, I like Ryan, and I know I might get flack for that, but I do. I think he needs to watch his mouth a little more and realize when his comments are not being appreciated, but I think he does have good intentions and is just rough around the edges in a different way. I like his honesty, 'cause what you see is what you get - and I mostly like that if you don't like him, he's like, "That's cool. We're cool."

*How are Kalon and Chris BFFs?? And Emotional Tony?!?

*Oooooh, they're all on Bach Pad together. Got it.

*WE ALREADY KNOW ALL THIS. Why am I watching this?

*Oh, Sean's coming on soon. That's why.

*Haha but Ryan's lack-of-facial-hair-notches around his mouth make him kinda look like a vampire. What?

*"If you're constantly evaluated for 6-7 weeks on everything you say, you're bound to say some things that don't go over well." -Ryan. He's absolutely right. If you're human, anyway. Sean's pretty immune though. I don't think he said anything that was rude or attacking.

*Chris's sad monologue is doing nothing for me. I have no respect for him. Especially after that Bach Pad preview.

*I'd LOVE to see Sean as the next Bachelor. He's so sweet, plus I'd love to see more of his personality.

*I agree with Sean's mom about heartbreak. It's healthy to experience that at least once, I think.

*Now he'll be even more compassionate, 'cause he wasn't perfect enough.

*There is so much respect between Emily and Sean. They both have so much class.

*"What girl wouldn't want Sean?" -Emily. ["...Except me."] It's like talking about her brother, she's all supportive.

*"I could be engaged to Kalon, and thank God for Doug." -Emily. I haven't laughed that hard in a while.

*I hate how Chris Harrison talks about the end of the season like he's all curious about what's going to happen. Please. You were there!! Stop being so smug.

*"My first kiss with Arie gave me the chills." -Emily. Girl, it gave everyone the chills!

GUYS! Who does she choose? What do you think?!?!

Maybe neither, and that's why the ATFR is live? So one of them can propose?

I'm sure I'm wrong I just need something to hold on to.

(In case you hadn't noticed, I don't read spoilers and I'm not interested in hearing any. I read them during Brad's season and they were wrong, and it ruined it for me because I couldn't be objective anymore, plus...they were wrong. It's more fun just to experience it.)

(I know I sound ridiculous.)

Wednesday, July 11, 2012

Talk about a baby!

These were a couple conversations I had with Chris about....well, our baby. I thought they were pretty funny. (I was about 3 months along when these happened.)

Me: "I hope our next pregnancy is like, quintuplets, so that we can just get this 'having kids' thing over with."
Chris: "Ugh. Not with this uterus."

(If you're just joining us, I had a surgery last June where they removed 1/4 of my uterus. You can read about it here or potential complications here.)


Me: What if I have to have a hysterectomy with this baby?
Chris: Then our next baby is going to be as athletic as we can find!

....he's a tiny bit racist (not truly, he kids), but I thought it was pretty funny.

Monday, July 9, 2012

It's so hard for us! Who will she choose?!

*"I can't imagine life without you." -Sean. Sucks to be you. ('Cause I think he's the one going home.)

*How does she even cry pretty?

*Jeez how could they all NOT fall in love with her? She's freakin' perfect.

*I think the reason Sean gets awkward and isn't all suave is because he hasn't had many serious relationships.

*She is tearing up about Arie.

*Ok. We know this is a hard decision. Let's see the dates.

*Really? The writing in the sand?

*Sean doesn't have his arm around her in the helicopter! Come on! You're looking at romantic things, and you say you care about her - touch the woman!

*Sean is really growing on me. (Despite my last comment. And his weird sense of humor.)

*They are making too big a deal of the "L" word. I get that she wants security, but really? They've been on like 5 dates total. Let's recognize that Sean may be the only guy acting the way someone actually would in a normal relationship.

*Proud of you, Emily, for kicking out Sean and being a good example. (We know Ryan's proud of you.)

*She obviously has a connection with Sean, but she's so much more relaxed with Jef (and Arie).

*Why hasn't someone given her a ponytail holder?

*Jef has multiple swimsuits too!

*I want Emily to make a toast.

*If Jef isn't meaning to be strategic, he's still doing a good job of making her think about these questions with the other guys.

*Is he the first to reject the Fantasy Suite???

*"It's time for us to bridle our passions." -Jef. Mormon, anyone?

*I think Arie has everything on paper, but I feel like for the past few weeks, he hasn't really been trying that hard to prove himself. Like, he's too cocky in his position that he's kinda given up.

*I can't wait for the Bachelor/ette who can't swim. What will they ever do on their islands?

*Where is Arie's depth? We haven't seen them have many serious conversations, so when he's talking "love of his life," how does he back that up?

*I wonder how Emily's taking this, "Be your child's buddy" thing. Arie has been in that situation before, but maybe Emily has a different take on it. Really I just wonder if I'd want my child's future step-dad to be a friend first or be a good role model and a strong figure. (Thoughts, Bonnie L?)

*Emily's rose ceremony outfit makes her look like a mermaid.

*These videos are definitely going to make her decision easier.

*This ceremony might be the first where Jef is the most dressed up.

*Well I did have my doubts during this episode but ultimately it's no surprise that Sean went home. I doubted a bit after seeing her with Arie, and that she's kinda recognizing that their relationship is mostly physical, but it's like she wants to give him more of a chance.

And I definitely don't want to wait two weeks for the finale!!!! AHH!!!!

Monday, July 2, 2012

Can we fast forward?

I mean this is alright, but we know what's going to happen. But we'll *suffer through* watching more of the fabulous Emily, Jef and Arie show.

*Awww cute welcome home sign.

*Your connection with Chris was strong in the beginning?

*What's with the dramatic music as she's walking upstairs in her pjs?

*There's the obscure scale! "On a scale of one to Polish..." -Chris

*"I don't like that unsure feeling." -Chris. So it means he's going to be insecure during your entire relationship, especially if he had gotten picked (no spoiler, I just don't think she picks him) and watched this and all her "amazing connections" with everyone else.

*She does have a good eye for the good personality traits.

*"I don't want to see Chris get heartbroken." -Chris's dad. Waaayyyy too late for that not being an option.

*How do they say they could see their life together when they haven't seen any of their real life? I don't know, it seems like there will be a real reality check.

*"Sensing some love," is completely different from, "She's falling in love with you."

*His ranch is a few hundred acres???

*I love them together.

*Hahaha I love when she brings in her sense of humor. Gun lessons? LOLz

*I am ready for the commentary to be done with.

*Steve is SO Mormon. "Is your life built on sound principles?"

*I love that other people put her through the ringer. I love that she can dish it AND take it.

*Could Emily uproot? Please bless that she moves to Utah and we can be neighbors.

*They made this convo between Jef and Steve sound so much dramatic than it actually was. Typical.

*Rebekah and I were BOTH tearing up during Jef's letter! AHHHHHHH

*It's good that Arie's being honest but let's not make her more nervous by telling her YOU'RE nervous.

*She snazzed up for him. Geez.

*When will people learn that you don't speak in other languages when everyone doesn't speak it?

*Good for you Arie for breaking the tension!

*I can't tell if his mom is drunk or her accent is just so loose.

*"These are my little girls." -Sean. He has kids too! (It was really about his dogs.)

*"It's a simple life..." -Sean. We'll be the judge of that when we see your house.

*"Let's leave the camera crew to pick up our picnic basket." -Sean and Emily.

*Ummm, simple life my butt! Your granddaughter has a playhouse in your backyard!

*".....I still live here." -Sean. :O Emily's face.

*His room is messy.

*"I wish my mom would have picked up a little bit." -Sean. You lose.

*This is a joke.

*This IS a joke!!! Ooooh you sneak!!!!

*That was awkward. Not a good joke.

*....But it is entertaining to think of his mom decorating that room, eating half a cookie, leaving out a glass of milk....hahaha

*If he doesn't open up with his parents, he's not going to open up with his wife as much as Emily wants him to. That's a (light)(ish) red flag as far as Emily's concerned.

*Well Emily's southern accent will fit in nicely with his family.

*Why is it still light outside?

*Are they going to make us watch another of their kisses?

*I hope Chris H. asks what all the boys what they told her at the end of the dates.

*Jef's letter was better than Ryan's 12 page??? Imagine that.

*They even decorate with candles on the patio? Wow guys. They don't miss anything.

*Emily wasn't THAT emotional about letting them go, she just feels bad for the humiliation Chris is going to feel with his family.

**Awkward silence on the bench.*

*"I'm shocked." -Chris. Ryan?? Is that you???

*"Was it me? What was it?? Is there an explanation?!" -Chris. Um, the explanation is you're on the Bachelorette.

*"How much faster could it possibly move?" -Chris. Seriously???

*"I told you I LOVED you!" -Chris. Well obviously you should have stayed.

*"I thought she loved me back." -Chris. Your dad effed up the whole thing!!

*"I'm ten times the man all those ^$&%!(* dudes are." -Chris. Seriously?????

Oh man. I do love this show.

What do y'all think? Does Sean have a chance? Am I just being closed-minded? I think it's been between Jef and Arie for like 6 weeks, but Rebekah thinks only two weeks. Your thoughts?

Monday, June 25, 2012


See how I said his name more times than that post about Arie?

*Holy cow! Is it hometowns already?

*Three one-on-ones! Please bless that it's Jef and Arie for two of them.

*"I didn't expect that." -Arie. "I didn't expect that either." -Jef. Haha.

*I wonder if a one-on-one is more nervewracking without a rose since then you don't know until the rose ceremony that you made it?

*Why are elbow patches coming back??

*Arie pulls money out his pocket - how much do you think ABC gives him?

*So much damage control so early? Arie wins.

*Emily's digging is not going to bring up his relationship. He's not thinking about THAT right now. Stop playing games.

*When are they ever off camera?

*Is this the earliest someone's dropped the "L" bomb?

*"I have a surprise for you." -Emily. Fireworks? Not a surprise.

*Wolf, please don't say the word love when this is your first (one-on-one) date.

*He is taller than her! I always visualize him as a little man.

*"Data Destruction Specialist."

*Their first dinner was in a cave, second is in a dungeon...

*I love that the cameramen just follow him around and don't tell him where she is.

*If the person she's "happiest to see" after her date with John is Sean, things aren't looking good for John.

*Oh my gosh. Is she going to send Doug home in the middle of the date??

*"I have the hardest time getting a read on Emily." -Doug. She is THE easiest person to read. Ever.

*Poor guy!! He's being so sweet about it though.

*Spontaneous two-on-one!

*That's a MESSAGE Jef. Listen well!

*"I don't know what would be worse. If [Chris] does get the rose, or if he doesn't get the rose." -John. Hahahaha.

*Chris smiles when he's saying things he's not happy about.

*Dear Emily. Please love Jef forever.

*FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY. He bought you daughter a puppet when YOU didn't even think about it!!!

*Is this all impromptu? It didn't seem like the puppet shop was planned, but the card said tug on those heartstrings.

*I'm dying. I'mdyingI'mdyingI'mdyingI'mdyingI'mdying.

*That. Was. By. Far. The BEST scene I've ever seen on the Bachelor.

*If I were Emily (and I want to be, so it's basically the same thing)....As great as Arie is, Jef would be leagues ahead of him. He's so solid in what he wants and what his future contains, and Arie is sweet but compared to what Jef is bringing to the table, he has no depth. Jef and Emily have the same values, same ideals, on everything they've talked about!

*Could Jef BE more perfect?

*She's the one asking family questions, and Jef is stepping it up!!!!

*I'm so in love. I need him in her life.

*I want to date you and marry the **** out of you." -Jef.

*I don't care about the rose ceremony. Can we show more of her and Jef's date?

*That whole segment was about Chris being a baby.

*Chris? Well I guess he won't be the final two anyway so no worries.

Well, so long as I can see more of Jef next week....and the week after that....and the week after that.....and not the week after that because that's the Men Tell All (is that right?), but then he'll propose and my Emily's life will be perfect.

I was torn between them after Arie's first date, but I always had my eye on Jef - he intrigued me because he was different, and in a good way. Then Arie swept Emily off her feet, and they were tied. And then Jef went out with her and I just love him.

But seriously. They're perfect for each other. Please let me be wrong about damage control and Arie.

Monday, June 18, 2012

This episode MESSES with you!

I have a LOT to say this episode. Sorry for the length; if you skip it, I won't be offended.

*Oh Wolf gets some action!

*There it is! "Croatia is the perfect place to fall in love." -Jef

*I'll watch you pack up and get that one on one, Travis.

*I'm super jealous about the date! Croatia looks beautiful.

*Haha @ Emily telling him exactly how to get on the balancing stone.

*Also, her disappointment about Travis not taking his shirt off.

*She seems like she's having fun but not necessarily because of him.

*WHAT is Ryan wearing! What is that tank top???

*If she doesn't feel romance by the hours of the day, he's out.

*It is humid in Croatia!! Her hair doesn't stay in anything.

*I wonder if they have a rule that whoever went on the last one on one has to pick up the date card.

*Oooooh bad idea to say the word manipulate.

*"I haven't been able to open up." -Travis. Well if you haven't gone on any dates, then obviously not.

*She's not asking pressing questions; I think he's gone.

*Poor guy. He puts himself out there for the first time in two years - on the Bachelorette - and gets rejected.

*Awww. He's a I typed that, he threw the umbrella. haha. But he's still sweet.

*HAHAHAHA! I hope she chose the kilts for all them to wear.

*"Wolf is going home. He's too little, too late." -Michelle C. Agreed.

*Shut up! They saw Brave, and their episode is airing before it even comes into theaters NOW!

*Nice work, Jef, sitting next to Emily. I think he's my favorite.

*Doug is reminding Emily that he has a son.

*Jef sees the kilt and is like, "I've worn worse."

*None of them are confident enough in their skirt kilt to walk by Emily, when they were clamoring to be by her before the theater.

*Awww. Good sport, Chris.

*Throwing a log won't contribute to you finding love with Emily. But it's a nice sentiment.

*Stick pulling. Jef explains it because he's the only one who's ever done it on Pioneer day.

*Unfair advantage - Doug was stronger AND had the outside.

*Emily says big muscles aren't impressive, but swooned over Sean breaking the log. She's thinking in two different parts of the brain.

*Man, Arie knows how to work it! That is a spontaneous, push you against the wall kiss.

*Ryan's facial hair is his worst choice yet.

*Instead of talking about how good things can be, let's do something about making all those good things happen.

*"A little less conversation, a little more action, please." -Elvis

*She's uncomfortable hearing this from Chris. Either it's him, or it's too early, or something.

*Or maybe not, because she's getting the rose.

*Do the producers tell them all to sit together when the Bachelor/ette comes in? And when Chris H comes in  right before the rose ceremony?

*Arie's DYING. And this is the first time I've seen her come in and hang out before a date. Is she not that excited?

*Arie is confident, but hides it better than Ryan. I can't tell if he's hiding more, or if that's just how he is. Thoughts?

*"Ryan calling me a trophy wife does not sit well with me." -Emily. Then you're in for a night of fun.

*"It was so good!" -Emily after she spits out the oyster.

*Yay for crazy old Croatians!

*I love when Ryan brings God into the picture.

*Um, not the first wife to talk back.

*If Ryan gets a rose - which he will, or Arie wouldn't be pissed and come a-knocking - then he's definitely around for another week. So if there's enough evidence against him, will she take his rose away?

*She lets him know he's in trouble. I like that so much. But that also gives him the opportunity to redeem himself.

*More Ryan letters!

*He didn't address her fears at all. Bad choice.


*Then what is Arie going to talk to her about???

*Stop manipulating.

*Stop it. Stopstopstop.

*She gets vulnerable when she breaks up with someone, and he absolutely knows that, and is playing with that.

*She's going to compromise and not give him the rose, but let him go to the ceremony.

*Great Jef. All the deaf people really think you think Ryan's a great guy. (Because he said, "He's a great guy" but shook his head.)

*We've seen this convo. Move on!!

*Hold strong!!

*Good girl.

*The fact that he's not broken up at all shows that he's not that emotionally invested.

*"Shocked is not the appropriate emotion for that situation. Ryan is an idiot." -Danny C.

*I bet he's going to refuse to go.

*Nothing brings the guys together like mutual hatred.

*Who did you build friendships with?

*THAT'S why Arie goes to her. Sympathy.

*Now I can believe Ryan goes home.

*They didn't show her excited "Hey!!!" in the teasers! Sneaky editing.

*And Arie's "Um...basically..." is totally different without the music.

*"No one is ever gonna know you were here." -Emily. She's way too used to the cameras. Haha.

*I want someone else to come sneaking over when someone else has already snuck over.

*"If you don't get a rose tonight, you're going home." -Wolf. And that's different from every other

*His parents don't know it, but now America does.

*Well laminate it!

*So he's Catholic.

*I do love how honest Arie is.

*If she send home two tonight, next week is the (would-be?) fantasy suites.

*BEST MOMENT! She's not even all "brb."

*How'd Chris H. get all the way outside? I always figure he just stands in the doorway, especially with that few bachelors left.

*Man. Four eliminated in .......

*...and Chris bring in the extra rose. YOU PLAYED US, EMILY!!!!

*Man, I was so excited for it to be the final four! Oh, well. More screen time of Arie and Jeff.


*Does Arie get a one on one next week?? I thought they'd go to Doug and Wolf.

*Ahhhhh.....Arie and the producer. I can't WAIT to get to the bottom of that, and know what's going on. Was this filmed during taping or after??!?! I doubt Arie's sincerity because of those rumors - which is why I can't read spoilers. They spoil it for a reason!

My goodness. Please bless that my questions will all be answered next week.

Monday, June 11, 2012


I can't wait for this episode!

*Eh, maybe one of them won't be her husband. We all know how this works.

*Chris H. has got to be paid to create drama. "I hope you all are falling in love, too."

*That's a SWEET apartment.

*I can't wait to see more of Sean. He's hooked me from episode 1.

*Oh Kalon. You're an idiot.

*Talk about the All-American couple! Sean + Emily = football and apple pie.

*Dude, Kalon is digging and digging and Emily isn't even around.

*Dang - I thought Emily's sexy voice was from being angry. Turns out she's just sick. Bummer.

*"A rose by any other name would smell as sweet." "What the hell does that mean?" Seriously?
-"Dude I think that's Shakespeare." -Alejandro. Five minutes later. Thanks guys.

*She says all these sweet things that are going to piss Sean off if he makes it far but doesn't get picked.

*This show needs new music.

*"My kisses and my relationship with Sean are just going to get better." -Emily. In other words, he needs some work.

*Doug, why is acting the last thing you want to do today?

*See? Arie can talk about hating acting but at least he's not being a baby about it.

*"I was not surprised. I was born to play this role." -Kalon. I would have killed to see his reaction if he had been cast as the nurse.

*"Apparently my strength as an actor is in playing a female role." -Doug. LOL

*I'm just glad Kalon's not kissing her.

*Ok Arie. Shakespeare's hard but let's pretend like we've read a book past an 8th-grade level.

*"My performance today is extremely important." -Kalon, and then he shoos Emily away. Seriously missing the important "performance."

*Every Woman in America is swooning over Arie in tights.

*Do the Brits pay attention to Bachelor?

*They need to cut to everything Doug says while he's in that nurse's outfit.

*"When he kisses me, it's rough, it's wet, and it's warm. 2 out of 3 ain't bad." Which two?

*They play women well. A little too well?

*Please let the surprise be another letter.

*"Yeah, talk to a sick Emily who has a daughter to go home to." -Kalon. You're so classy.

*It's at least super sweet that all the boys are rallying up around Emily.

*"And I'm saying f*** a lot right now." -Doug. Hahahahaha

*"I love to hear you talk, but not until I'm done." -Emily. She's been waiting for that one.

*Why are you still standing there?

*Your mother doesn't want that "baggage" of saying she's who made you who you are.

*Wow. She is super pissed.

*I see where she's coming from; I think they have so much respect for her that they wanted her to have her moment to kill Kalon.

*How through is she, Jef?

*Jef gets points for bringing it up before Emily did.

*I like that Jef is hard for her to read. She needs a challenge.

*Mmmmm I'd LOVE to ride that Ferris Wheel.

*I've been so happy with Jef from the beginning. I love him, especially after this date.

*How many times do they have to "realize" she's not messing around?

*I wish I could wear one-shoulder dresses.

*I don't know who's going home.

*Punishing Arie by saving him for last - of course. She's pissed.

*Ok. Let's see what they tease us with, 'cause so far the biggest trailers have been about kicking Kalon's butt to the curb.

*Oh - the emotional teasers. I guess next week is going to be good, but I hope they're not going to attack Ryan (probably) to try and make up for the fact that no one stood up for Kalon - though I'm positive that Arie goes to Emily in the middle of the night so that he can get points back. Also, do they plan to have a middle of the night visit on every season somehow? The last three have all had them, were they in it before Brad's second season too?

I LOVE that Emily breaks stereotypes in every way. I can't wait to see her confront Chris Harrison. Manohman!

Tuesday, May 29, 2012


I usually try to post immediately after the show, but ABC was a dick this week and changed the time of the show - with no warning! Usually, I'd have looked it up beforehand, but it was a busy (fun!!) day, so I got a text at 7:50 with the sad news that ABC pulled a fast one on America. Did anyone else turn on their TV with half the show gone already? If so, I guess it's ok I'm posting late, since we all missed it.

*Holy cow! Look at her bed! And her room! She's ballin'.


*Chris has such sharp features - he looks like a villain.

*"We're climbing something." -Chris. Probably the building that the ropes just slid down.

*"I don't think anyone could wear that harness better than she's wearing it." -Chris. Harnesses don't look good anyone.

*"Love is a climb, and we're starting at the bottom." -Chris. Oh man. STOP with the metaphors!

*The lightning storm is kinda beautiful in the background.

*"I want a man to stay by my side, and Chris passed the test." -Emily. Where was he going to go??!

*I think it's amazing that she has confidence issues. She's fabulous, and she just doesn't see it.

*He's 25. You're 26. Not that big a difference. Also, everyone in the world knows you're a package deal.

*"Let's play. Emily." "What do you think that means?" -A Contestant. Hahahahahahaha.

*I'm so jealous of that storm!!!!

*Second country concert, third episode.

*"Can I give you a kiss at the end of this song?" -Chris. Dislike.

*What does Jef use to style his hair?!???

*It's gonna get wild. -wolf

*Ryan telling her he wouldn't love on her if she got fat? Man, he does not get women.

*Did she play with the kids at all?

*Sean is shiny!

*Doug! That is heartbreaking!!

*Ryan is being manipulative! Asking about Tony's son....

*The music is killing me.

*"You can drive a stick shift?" -Kalon. Are you sh*tting me right now?!?!?

*Awww. Sweet pep talk, Doug.

*On her other breakups she's been straightforward, and now she's trying to spare his feelings and being so sweet. But did she ever come out and say, "You need to go home?"

*Ryan, you have no real connection. So far your relationship with Emily is all about you. And her not getting fat. So I guess we'll see.

*I like how Arie is just about "let's see if there's a connection." And he's just excited about the date, and getting to know Emily.

*Everyone's going on and on about how CUTE Arie is, and I guess he's alright, but I don't really see it. His hair is beautiful, though. I'd kill for that hair.

*Six months ago I would have killed for ANY hair.

*Man, she's taking him to Dollywood - she is NOT shy! Just lay all your quirks bare, babe. I don't get why people say she has no personality. She's got personality coming out of her every orifice.

*"I didn't think Dolly Parton would be into [having a theme park]." -Arie. Maybe not, but I bet her bank account is. And her agent.

*"We need to win something for Ricki." -Arie. Awwww! He's going far.

*"He might have a little country in him." -Emily. Girl, he's a racecar driver. He is ALL country!

*Dolly's guitar is blingin'! You go girl!

*Third country concert, third episode.

*I'm no pervert, but I canNOT take my eyes off Dolly's boobs!!! They're hypnotizing!

*Forehead kiss!?!! *melt*

*I hear that a lot, that in dating a single mom/dad, the other person misses the kids more than they miss their ex. I guess kids are a pretty big deal.

*I don't think you can ever be "ready" for kids, you just have to be willing. Oh, did Arie just say that? We're on the same page. I'm liking him more and more.

*He's asking hard questions too! I like him!!

*This is the first real, genuine, relaxed conversation I've seen on this season. Possibly on the show, ever.

*She's going to make him sweat over this rose. She wants him bad; she's totally messing.



*Arie: Turning on women across America!

*My neck is still shivering from that touch. That happened months ago, hundreds of miles away.

*"Where did you come from?" -Emily. I like that he didn't say something cheesy, or ask her back, or say something douche-y. So many of the other guys would have. He just cuddled her more and kissed her. He is fabulous!!!! (Brought up by Rebekah H. and agreed on by the rest of us.) Love love love him. I'm pleasantly surprised, I figured since everyone had such high expectations for him, that he'd crash and burn.

*No socks. Douche. (On Kalon's suit/shoes/no socks combo.)

*"I think he's genuine." -Emily about Kalon. Negative. Why do they never see the villain for who they really are?

*"I love it when you talk, but I wish you'd let me finish." -Kalon. Ok, first of all, literally seconds before, we were mentioning how HE never let HER finish anything; secondly, you're a condescending (thanks, Emily, that's the perfect word) control freak; and third of all, you best man up and respect a woman. You are not all that. Truly. I hope all the single women where he's from are watching this.

*Michelle C: "This is the nicest he will ever be to her in their relationship, so that is a giant red flag." Truth.

*Ohhhhhhhhhhh. Keep digging your hole. Let her think you don't want anything to do with Ricki since she's not "yours." She'll love it.

*He named the egg Shelly? I don't know his name, but I know his egg's.

*Never thought that'd be something I'd say.

*Alessandro's hair is awful. Welcome Ben of the season. It was also most definitely curled with an iron.

*Having kids is a compromise? You're out!

*What's with Emily's boots? And SUPER unflattering dress? Nice to know there's something she doesn't look smokin' in.

*How was he not expecting to be sent home after saying all that?

*I wish they showed what she said to kick him out.

*Exit Ben of the season.

*Someone clean up the mess!

*Aaaaaaaaand Enter Arie. Of course. He's superman.

**Perfect. I meant perfect. And Emily thinks so too, because she is the one initiating allllllll those kisses!

*And Ryan gets the jealousy award, AND the shallowness award for not realizing that connections come from more than just trying to be charming. And the obnoxious award for thinking you're better than everyone. How are he and Kalon not fighting yet? They can't both be best.

*"I don't want to get ahead of myself..." -Sean. Which is a guarantee that you're about to.

*Those kisses were not nearly as good. Shame.

*No surprises on the rose ceremony, but thank goodness Bad Facial Hair is going home. That half goatee wasn't doing you any favors. But I don't like how smug Kalon is.

*Ryan is losing even more points, FAST. Just because you're "good at everything you do," (you were good at getting awards a second ago) doesn't mean everywomanever is going to fall for you. Also, it's still not a game. Also, you're very rude and shallow. Are you going home yet?

*There's overseas dates already??? It seems so early!

*Five bucks that the song Kokomo by the Beach Boys makes an appearance next week.

EDIT: Apparently Alessandro did other things to convince Emily to kick him to the curb. Here's her blog:,,20599218,00.html .  There was definitely more going on beneath the surface that made him a weirdo. And it explained the boots/dress combo.

Thursday, May 24, 2012

Body Issues

I have always had some kinds of body issues, but to be honest, you'd be hard-pressed to find an American woman who hasn't. Only over the past couple years and living with other females (even going to hair school, because that many women in one place help you see what real-world women look like) have I realized that every woman has a different shape, and that I have actually been pretty lucky to have the body that I have. As in relatively healthy (besides freak accidents), I'm young enough that I can still pretty much eat what I want, etc. And I've come to learn that curves are going to be a part of my body, no matter what I do. It's how I'm built. I. Will. Always. Be. Curvy.

These realizations obviously didn't come in a day, and even after I'd realized some of it, it didn't make me like it any more. It didn't mean I wanted to be that curvy girl woman. That has also taken time, and I'm for sure not close to being there.

But what I want to share is something that happened in the recent present. I was with a friend of mine who is in fabulous shape, even after having a child. I've always been jealous of how skinny she is, wishing I had the endurance to work out hard enough to be that small. I've always envied my stick-skinny friends, wishing I could be that girl. No matter who tells me I'm beautiful, no matter how many times, I can try to believe them - until I see that girl who is tiny and beautiful. Especially if it's effortless. And I get sad.

I don't get it entirely, either, because I can look at my curvy friends and see their beauty - so why not my own?

However, recently I've had some things happen that have helped my shifting focus speed up a little bit.

First, there's a site called Busty Girl Comics that truly made my week when my friend KJ told me about it. If you've ever had issues getting along with your breasts, A cup or DD, then this comic is for you! I was up for a very long time reading and laughing my way through it. I LOVE that the author makes somewhat light of a truly annoying situation - the curves on our body that really give us grief. And it made me feel not so alone in being shaped the way I am.

The other thing helping my image is being pregnant. And I've been showing a lot earlier than most women, and it's getting to me. Really. Part of me feels like, "It's ok because your body is going to round out and be awful for the next 16+ months, so just get used to it," and I'm trying to embrace that part of it. The other part of me is thinking, "Come on, fatty. Work out. Throwing up isn't THAT bad, plus it makes you lose more calories." (The second one is a lie. Throwing up is always sucky.)

Then I talked to this awesome woman I know and she reminded me, "You have to remember that this is basically your second pregnancy." And she's right. I didn't carry to term last time, but I DID have my abdomen sliced open less than a year ago and a quarter of my uterus is now gone because of it. I can't expect to be tiny in these conditions. Or show as late as everyone else. It is what it is. My body is different, for this and other reasons.

Ok, so these led up to some time well spent with the aforementioned very-skinny friend, and for the first time since I've known her, I looked at her body and appreciated its beauty, and...didn't envy her for it. I didn't want it. I appreciated what I had. And was glad for her to look so smokin', but I realized that it wasn't me. I was smokin' in my own way. I had a different bone structure and a different metabolism, and that's ok.

That is literally the first time in my life that's happened to me. To look at someone hotter than me, and not be envious.

I'm 25, folks.

It's nowhere near totally confident, but it's a start.

And now I look back to that day and think, "Man, I wish I was that skinny." And so the cycle continues.

Do any of you have these "Aha!" moments? I'd love to hear them and gain more perspective.

Monday, May 21, 2012

Not their best, but not their worst, either.

*"Are you excited about your date tonight?" -Emily's friend. I wish she would have been like, "nah."

*I love Chris H.'s speeches. "Take advantage of your time with Emily." In other words, let the fight begin.

*"This just got real." -A Contestant. Yes it did. Now that you said that.

*Mushroom farmer? Is he a dealer?

*He seems ok, kinda cocky but we'll give him a chance.

*You're expecting a plane ride, or hot air balloons? On your first date? Ok you're losing points.

*Although, I guess this IS the Bachelor.

*Groceries??! EMILY I LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!!

*"You don't go on the Bachelor thinking you'll be making cookies." -Ryan. Yes, but you don't go on the Bachelor for a hot air balloon ride, either.

*"Let's finish making these cookies so I can look like a man again." -Ryan. There is nothing sexier than a man helping in the kitchen. Man up.

*Where they getting all these cars?

*Oh my gosh. Groceries to a red-carpet greeting. And an empty restaurant.

*Ryan is contradicting himself at every turn and not being honest to answering her questions. I'm liking him less and less. He doesn't seem to get it. Or he's not being real.

*"Obviously I'd still be in control." -Emily. Obviously. She's a true woman.

*About the running/chase conversation: "As weird as that was, that was probably the most natural banter they had all night." -Rebekah H.

*Think she really does all her own makeup?

*"This is like the most kid-friendly Bachelor ever." -Breanne J.

*Stand up comedy would be the worst. That's a high-pressure situation.

*"What's going on?" -Emily. "Nothing, just wanted to come out and hang out with you for a little bit." -Charlie. That is a dirty lie!

*Did y'all see the big "Pay to the order of..." behind Charlie? The checks are getting ready!

*Kermit zips up Emily's dress. Best moment ever.

*HAHAHAHAHAHA. Chris Harrison as one of the old cranky men. This is better and better.

*Were those the best of stand up? Oh man.

*Nice hair, Miss Piggy! (During her talk show.)

*Did I just say that?

*"I find it hard to believe any of these guys will have that kind of connection." -Chris. Really? Have you ever watched this show?

*I like that Emily just puts it all out there, and asks hard questions.

*"I haven't noticed that you've been watching me." -Jef. Because you haven't been watching her either? Bad answer.

*"It's better than probably any conversation anyone's had with her." -Jef. Nope. No one's ever watched this show before.

*Kalon looks like a tool in his button up and sweater.

*"It seems like they'd rather spend time with each other than spend time with Emily." -Kalon. Well at least they're building friendships instead of sitting alone in a chair, being a d-bag.

*"I've never been confrontational." -Kalon. I'd hate to see what he thinks is "confrontational."

*"I didn't see anything special...[between Jef and Emily.]" -Chris. Well then obviously it wasn't there.

*Season's first plane ride!

*Joe seems real. I hope he gives some honest answers.

*"And I see...a beautiful, blond-haired girl." I think her name's Emily.

*The music sounds like the music they save for the proposal. Foreshadowing?

*These CARS! Vintage is the best so far. (Rebekah said it's a Rolls-Royce. Very nice!)

*The place is empty. Guesses on how much it took to rent out Greenbriar?

*These guys are really sticking up for each other. (Mostly.)

*We all wonder where Emily's money comes from, and I've guessed it's from Ricki's grandparents, her ex-fiance, and her job. But if this is where she spent time as a kid.....mystery solved.

*"In 5 years, I hope to be - well, if this works out, I'll pack up my bags and go where you are." -Joe. What part of this being the first date do people NOT understand while on this show? Jeez, even in Utah that's frowned on. At least wait for #2.

*I don't think I've ever seen someone not get a rose on the one-on-ones.

*Way to be classy, Joe. Leave in style.

*I guess the fireworks come whether they get the rose or not.

*So the music wasn't foreshadowing. Well played, ABC.

*He wants a good connection - good touch! Work it!

*NASCAR just won a ton of points, dating a girl with 2 kids. "You're so brave." -Emily

*Ryan v Tony - awkward. Do you have to stand there while she reads the note? Does she have to read the note right then? Where is the Bachelorette handbook?


*I just realized that Ryan and I have the same hairstyle.

*"Love in Christ, Ryan."

*Tony didn't complain right off, but instead made a joke. Way to make light of a really bad situation.

*"I left my son, at home..." -Tony. Oh, not on the streets?

*Oh, Emily feels like an old man, too.

*Kalon's looking at her like he's a hungry lion, and she's....a baby gazelle. (Name that movie and I'll give you a dollar.)

*Next week's is going to be a hum-DINGER!

*Also, I'm 14 weeks pregnant.

Ok! We'll see y'all soon!

Monday, May 14, 2012

THE Bachelorette

Guys, I can't even tell you how much I love Emily Maynard. It's unhealthy, and the closest I've come to a "celebrity" obsession since the Backstreet Boys. And I'm not ashamed. She is classy, fiery, open, honest, fierce, kind, beautiful, and pretty much my idol. I'll stop obsessing now, but at least you understand how emotionally invested I am in this season.

Yay Emily!

*"How you get so high?" Hope she's not still saying that in 7 years.

*Honey, everyone watching this episode knows your story. I hope this doesn't come up 17 more times during the season.

*"I found out I was pregnant and I couldn't have been happier." Betcha you could have been happier if the father was alive.

*I wonder if Brad is watching.

*I wonder if Brad will show up.

*Ah, we're bringing out the helicopters early this season, I see.

*The men have so much more personality than the women. Let's tally the random objects seen on night #1:
     -Giant egg (Ostrich?)
     -Bobble heads
     -A dirty plastic "glass" slipper
     -Spoiler Alert! Boom Box.

*Commercial comment on the Duets - How many singing/talent reality shows can we produce? Where are the trombone talent shows? Or the glass-blowing competition reality shows?

*Let's play count the fake plants. At least 15 on the front porch. Also - where did they find a house like this in Charlotte??

*Cheesy pickup line - check. Only took 10 minutes.

*Why does it show them all working out? And do they really all own dogs?

*LOL @ singer/songwriter.

*"Songwriting comes naturally, it's like walking for me." Yeah, it'd come naturally to anyone whose only lyrics are, "Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily! Emily!"

*Brain damaged contestant? Check.

*Salt Lake City resident? Check.
-He actually seems normal. Hurrah!

*Really, ABC? A racecar driver? I guess not EVERYONE knows Emily's story.

*Emily is freaking gorgeous.

*LOVE her dress!

*I know ABC chose her to sell to viewers, but they're almost pitching it like a family-friendly show with all this kid/parenting stuff.

*Why is tonight's show only an hour and a half? Isn't it usually like 3 for the first episode?

*I wonder how many times we'll see that circular skyscraper in Charlotte. It seems to have more character than I would have thought.

*Ah! A model! With that schnoz?

*He's retarded, so it's cool.

*Aww, she doesn't know Brazilians don't speak Spanish.

*Is this the Bachelor's first black contestant?

*Oh no, not a stereo. If Brad is watching, he's cringing, bad.

*Cross dresser? Check.

*"So cute" about Randy. I agree.

*Nametags are such a good idea. I don't know why they don't always wear them the first couple dates.

*Why do they call you "Wolf" is my first question.

*Alright - the egg gets explained.

*"[What you said in Spanish] better be nice!" -Emily. Here's the spitfire we've heard about.

*"If a guy comes out of that..." What else is going to come out, a tractor? "...then it's over." Ok. I'd like to see you walk out on night one. Over something retarded.

*"We hate him already." Alright, ladies. Calm down. (Sorry for being sexist.)

*She's going to be so conscientious about how they're feeling, being on the other side and everyone gets jealous - like she HATED watching Brad woo all these other girls. I wonder if that will affect their physical relationships.

*PS - I wonder what they'll do instead of Fantasy Suites, because she wouldn't even sleep with Brad on his FS - she's way too classy to sleep with 4 different men. Or if they'll just make it clear there's no hanky-panky going on.

*Bobble-head barbies. Nice.

*He's just swingin' with the egg. NBD.

*Finally! Utah (Jef) seems super normal!

*"I think Jef's cool, and I hope he thinks I'm cool too." -Emily. Holy flashback to middle school.

*Ok Kalon. You're bad news. Red flag #1: "I'm used to people being hostile towards me."

*I bet when they're lining up for the rose ceremony, she's back there reviewing names.

*Your heart was broken after one night? Bummer.

*Quote/moment of the night, and ironically, it was the last. The model as he takes off his shirt: "I guess this is what she's missing out on."