Wednesday, July 20, 2011

The Case of the Asexual Watermelon

Let it be known henceforth that I. Love. Watermelon.

Summer has barely been in full swing for two weeks and I think I have eaten four. By myself. That's whole watermelons. It's like bloody candy for me, and I could be wrong, but I think there are worse addictions out there.

So it's no surprise that I don't even have to ask Chris anymore I'd like him to pick up one for me when he goes to the store. (This was a day or so after the surgery, so I was going nowhere near the grocery store, or obviously I'd be the one doing the shopping. It's my duty.) He left it on the counter, and I waited for my appetite to return to normal to start digging in.

But, what's this? Suddenly, we find, not one, but two (2) watermelons crowding our shelves. Watermelons, I mean, they're big melons, see? Hard to miss. So, how'd we miss that there was an extra one on our shelves? We tried to remember everyone who had come to visit, and what they had brought with them, and how in Hades we had missed a large fruit being placed on our shelves! This stuff is like gold - you pay attention!

Well, we decided to just accept that there is obviously a God, for someone to be bestowing such gifts on us without our notice must have been nothing short of divine. We cut up the first one, and let the rest sit in our fridge, as its offspring sat on our kitchen table.

A day or so later, my friend Liz stopped by, and during our casual conversation, she saw the watermelon and said, "Oh, is that the watermelon I dropped by the other day?"

"Wait - what? When did you bring that by?" I clearly remember being conscious every time she's entered my apartment in the last week.

"Remember after I spent the night at your house 'cause I was babysitting you, and I left my toothbrush, and came in to pick it up when you guys were in the shower? I yelled and told you I was here, then quickly left?"

(This is the second time she's walked into our apartment when we've been in the shower. No joke. HOWEVER, showering together not only saves us on hot water, but I was still unable to
hold myself upright for more than 37.3 seconds. Don't be dirty.)

"Shut UP! You brought it in then?!?! Seriously???" I honestly couldn't believe it had been so simple.

"Yeah! I left it by the camera lens cap I needed to return! I thought you'd figure it out!"

I was baffled. The case was solved, and I can't lie, I was a little disappointed that Gabriel himself hadn't strutted into our kitchen and placed it on our table when we were turned the other way.

So, Liz, I guess to keep myself entertained, I'm going to have to tell myself that you were, in fact a heavenly messenger. Which means I still have your toothbrush.


  1. Glad you cleared up the whole showering together thing because I was definitely thinking dirty thoughts. haha

  2. shoot. this post kicks butt. favorite line: "I was a little disappointed that Gabriel himself hadn't strutted into our kitchen and placed it on our table when we were turned the other way."

    i love you.