Wednesday, January 4, 2017


I gotta start by saying I'm open minded with Nick. I didn't watch Andi's season, but I watched Kaitlyn's when he already had this reputation, and then I didn't watch Bachelor in Paradise. So. Just keeping an open mind. Maybe he's a great guy! Maybe he's a skease. We'll find out! This season, on, The Bachelor!

"A season of the bachelor unlike anything you've ever seen!" And then it shows a private plane flying over a beautiful mountain side so… Unlikely

"I just don't know how to sit sideways on the couch." They don't teach it in school.

"I don't care how many times I have to try." How much fame is he going for exactly?

He's said like 3 times that he's worried the girl at the end will reject him. I'm sure he's still in it to win it but it's a lot of insecurity coming from this kid.

Josephine is killing me.

The sumo suit!! Wait - a sumo AND a dolphin? This girl cray. 

I like Danielle the nurse. She's sups sweet.

"Nick is perfect!" -The girl who has never met him before

"I wouldn't be here if it wasn't you." Check.

Runner up!! I love her just because I can imagine her sitting to herself and getting that idea and laughing hard enough that she made it happen.

"Omg there's food!" -YES. I like her even more now! That would totally be my reaction. What was her name??

Keep it down Bachelor I'm not here to learn about Nick's sex life.

.....oh wait that's actually all this is.

"I like that there's a bit of mystery." -The girl he's already seen naked.

Lol @ Chris H. playing dumb. "You think you knew her??"

Hug token - not going far

Vanessa "You are even better looking in person." THAT'S how you greet someone. She's going places.

"You're a weiner in my book." And everything that follows. So terrible. SO.


"I dolphinitely can't wait to talk to you inside." I CAN'T EVEN.

His convo with lawyer girl. Rachel? I think she gets 1st impression.

"He seems like he's confident and he knows what he wants."

"Tell me something you wouldn't normally tell most people." The very first time we've talked.

I can smell all the alcohol they're drinking from here.

He's drawn to the really smart girls 👍

First impression rose - called it! Which I hope isn't a bad omen for her because I really like her.

"For some crazy reason I just got the 1st impression rose." She doesn't know she's cool. Cool.

He's keeping Corinne because #producers

And Liz.

Um, can someone please teach this woman the meaning of consent?? I felt dirty watching that preview. Gotta go shower now bye.

Thursday, February 18, 2016

Tired mom = Good mom?

"That can't be right."
"But that's what she said!" (That's what she said.)

Yep, I said it. Today I was exhausted and, surprisingly, it made me a better mom! I didn't have the energy to do much of anything, so when they asked me to play, I was like, "Sure! I have time for a tea party! I'll bring the chocolate!" Normally these playtimes are ruined by my anxiety of needing to get more done, or honestly, straight up boredom, but today it was like, "Whatevs I'm not doing anything anyways." 

And normally, when they're acting up, I just want to yell. And of course I did here and there 😬 But, surprisingly, not that much. I was just too sleepy to overexert myself with anger. So when they acted out, yes, they were disciplined, but since it was a slow kind of day, I took discipline slow too, and tried to figure out why they misbehaved to deal with the underlying issues. Which is a luxury I rarely give myself. 

So yeah, not every tired day is like this. But it was nice that this one was. 😀 😴

Friday, March 20, 2015

Cuties and waiting for blessings

McKenna, my one-year-old, LOVES Cuties - you know, those little mandarin oranges? She's crazy about fruit in general, but if I whip out a mandarin, she'll drop everything on her plate and make grunting noises until she has some in her mouth. And then she inhales them. Girl's got like 9 teeth so she must just be swallowing them whole, I don't know. What I do know is that, to keep her happy, I want to give her multiples at a time, and quickly.

But if I give her too many, she may not know her limits, then eat too many and choke, so I break them up before she gets them. Or, if I give like half of one at a time, she might bite into it, letting all the juices drip down her chin...and her arms...and her multi-fold neck...and her stomach, making a huge mess for me to clean up later. (We cut out the middle-man and just have her eat naked, so at least it's not lots of laundry.) The point is, I want to give her the "just right" amount of food. Not too much for her to get super messy, and not so little that it's not satisfying.

Yesterday, I peeled and broke one open, and the first section I picked up only had two pieces to it. I wanted to give McKenna as much as possible to keep her happy, so I quickly separated them and gave them to Ariana, because she would be content with those for a while while I broke up the rest of them for McKenna.

Well this was a problem. McK got so mad that I wasn't giving her exactly what she saw and wanted right away, and to add insult to injury, I gave what she thought should have been hers to her sister! But! I had McKenna's in my hand, almost ready to go. I just needed her to wait for about 10 more seconds, and she'd have more than she needed.

I see so many God/parenting parallels in my life I almost can't keep track of them all. When we see blessings freely handed out to others and sometimes withheld from us, I think it's easy to get angry at God or frustrated that He doesn't give us what we're clearly wanting and ready for. And doesn't He say that he knows what to give us, better than even our human parents do? Why does He withhold blessings He knows we want? Why can't He answer our heartfelt prayers, even when we are trying our absolute hardest to please Him?

I know the individual answer is different for everyone, and ultimately, all I know is God loves us. Why couldn't I have just given McKenna the two slices to make her happy while I made more for her and Ariana? In my mind, I wanted to give her the most of what she wanted, what I knew would make her happy for a longer time. I certainly don't love Ariana more than McKenna, nor was I trying to punish her by making her wait a little longer. In my short perception, the best answer was the one I acted out.

Then, in God's long perception, He must know what is best for us, yes? He must know that if He gives us one blessing now, maybe it cuts off opportunity for seventy blessings later - which is really difficult when we see friends getting one and five and twelve blessings now. Why not us? There are probably millions of reasons. But each life is different, and each person is important to our Heavenly Father.

Like I said, I don't know everything, but I know God loves us. And sometimes I see that love reflected (in really imperfect ways) in my parenting. Sometimes you see it too. I'm grateful God gives us these insights to understand Him better.

And here's a really great article on this. Definitely better written and it includes all sorts of other situations.

Monday, March 9, 2015

Chris Soules loves ______???

So glad to finally know what happens!!

All the "panic attacks." -Chris H. Lol even they know it's fake. 

So surprised he really stays in Iowa for every episode. 

"The decision I'm going to make could change my life." Could?

"Just tell me which one to pick..." Chris, I'm going to introduce you to a family problem called enmeshment. 

"These are my mom's favorite flowers." -Whitney. Awwwwww!!

"We made a baby in the lab." -Whitney
"You win!" -Chris' family. Read: Grandbaby hungry.

He seems underwhelmed. Anxious, maybe? Maybe I'm overly nervous.

Spends his Whitney day talking about Becca. Trouble. 

I think it's because she's the forbidden fruit. 

She's leaving when it's still light in the middle of winter. How early is it?!

She's SO invested!

That's what I was thinking, Chris' brother! It's the chase!

Oh Becca's wearing a black bra.

Those parents are so patient to eat with their kids on their laps. Of course, I use the word "eat" loosely.

"Ok Becca let's go chat!" You haven't touched your food!!

"It's going to be long distance." Farm life is not conducive to long distance relationships. Even living together it'd be hard to find time together.

"I know what I feel and that's more important to me than what she's saying." -Chris. If it's what he feels she feels, fine. But what she's saying also speaks volumes. Pay attention to the words coming out of her mouth!

Mom is asking hard questions, and pushes her hair behind her ear. She's good. Makes you comfortable while forcing you to tell the truth.

Why CAN'T she just say, "we need to talk"??

Oh they still have one more date. You're good, girl.

I can't imagine how Whitney would feel watching this if he picks her, when all this is pointing to Becca.

"Something you've never seen on the ATFR before."

"This is one of the biggest Bachelor viewing parties." -Harrison. There's a bigger one somewhere?

Chris' face on the way to the door looks so excited. Who's it going to be???

Oh, Becca. I wish I didn't like Whitney so much. 

It's like the Notebook. "G**d***** Allie what do you want?"

"Get in the water! Get in! I'm sorry baby. Would you please just get in the water?" Lu, that was for you.

"Why don't you think you're in love with me?" YES. Ask the right questions!

Hey where's that on-call therapist they had in Brad's season?

"The one thing I know is that I want you." -Becca. Isn't that love?

"There's steps that are preventing-" -Becca.
"What are the steps?" -Chris.
"I don't know!" -Becca.
Then how do you know there are steps? She's killing me.

"What would I do in Arlington?" -Becca. "Now we're getting somewhere!" -Chris. He seems like he'll be a great communicator in a fight.

That was a good fight. I really thought one of them might get up and leave.

Is Chris the reason we are still going through daylight savings?

There's something to be said about the feelings for each girl. Yes, you want that natural chemistry he seems to have with Becca. But that fades. What, I think, is more important, is the deeper level of comfort and natural flow you have together.

That candle is distracting. 

I love you Whitney. But we've heard a ton about how invested you are. Let's move on.

I do love how natural they seem in his house. They are freaking adorable.

"Something about the simple life." -Whitney. With millions of dollars. 

"What makes you feel so certain?" Man he's bringing his A-game tonight. 

"No matter what happens." Yikes. 

I'm glad she's getting some realism in there. 

She gave him a scrapbook!

How much did they spend to dress up that barn?

"Something that happens on the ATFR that changes everything!" Damn you, Chris Harrison! Why you got to ruin all our fun??

I wish I had seen all the seasons so I could figure out what happens!

Now I have no investment in what's going to happen in the episode. 

Becca's first!! It could change after, but I'm still a little relieved.

Actually one of his better breakups. 

She's showing no emotion. She seems so relieved!

She's not even a little crying.

I feel like this is one of the most real seasons we've seen. And Chris has grown on me a lot.

Whitney's driving up and Harrison has me all worked up that none of this even matters.

"On a scale of 1-10, I'm off the charts." At least it wasn't, "On a scale of 1-nervous..."

If I were Chris Harrison, I'd be so tempted to whisper, "It's you!" when we hugged.

So glad Chris is smiling as she walks up.

What a terrible way to get proposed to - if you don't know if he's going to propose or break up.

"It's not work. It's natural." That's love. I mean, love IS work. But it shouldn't have been so forced - like with Becca.


Like, pumping my fists happy. They are perfect.

"Whitney IS the person for me." Thank you!! For being ALL IN. 

Oooooh it was so hard with Becca because he kept wanting to play catchup. He saw the potential but she was always a few steps behind. That must have been frustrating.

"Not looking back." You're a good man, Chris.

"She's only watching our dates." That's so smart.

"I'm smart because I chose her." Awwww. Very true.

Smart in this season, too, since he made out with everyone.

About his long hugs - I mean, I think maybe it's because he's so compassionate? :/ Which is a trait you want but not when it's about your exes.

Why is it such a big deal Becca didn't fall in love? I'm actually surprised it doesn't happen more often.

It's obvious that they've both moved on. Stop dragging it out. 

I hope Kaitlyn feels happier seeing this.

Their reunion! That was freaking adorable.

Their relationship is so real and just straightforward that all these scripted questions are pretty pointless.

I like to hear these better things for Whitney on Chris' side.

"We still have much more to get to." -Harrison What else? It's funny watching him ask the questions that usually bring out the drama when there really wasn't any.

"I like knowing he gave everything 100%. He gave every relationship the attention it deserved. It makes me more secure in what we have." -Whitney. Actually a good point.

Jimmy Kimmel???

"Can I sit between you?" -Jimmy
"It wouldn't be right if you didn't." -Chris hahahahahah

"Ashley thinks she's on the Price is Right." Jimmy Kimmel! dying

"Are you making love?" -Jimmy Kimmell
"As regularly as possible." Settle down we don't need to know about your sex lives.

He brings out a cow LOL

"His name is Juan Pablo. He doesn't speak any English." HAHAHAHAHAH

And Chris Harrison whispering, "Ees ok, ees ok!!" THE BEST. He really hated JP.

New Bachelorette!! Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn! Kaitlyn!

Aww I was really hoping the crowd was going to start chanting her name!

They're really split? Between who?


How is Britt a serious contestant against Kaitlyn! I think the audience was pretty clear about who they preferred.

Maybe they just think she would make good TV???

My happiness for Chris and Whitney is equalled only by my disappointment.

Oh it's awkward. It's awkward.

Didn't Kaitlyn like, openly dislike of Britt a few times?

This is such a bad idea.

What are they going to do?? Have the men give the girl they want to stay the rose?? This is so weird. Like, I'm glad they finally got the idea to switch things up, but not like this! If they choose Britt I will be SOOOOOO disappointed!! Kaitlyn would be the best!

Monday, February 23, 2015

What's your fan-ta-ta-sy?

Any time someone talks about the innocence of our youth and how "times sure have changed, look at all these promiscuous things happening around us!" I'm going to remind them of that song ^^^.

Anyway. On to pre-marital polygamy

Hey! First time out of the country!

Well, I guess they did go to New Mexico. 

Really? You can see yourself with Kaitlyn? I mean, I love her - but I don't see her with Chris. 

"Kaitlyn is the kind of person I could my life." Not as my wife. :(

Aww. She's so cute! I don't want him to break her heart tonight. But he's going to. 

He's taking her to the temple! Appropriate, seeing as what's going to happen later on.

Don't care about all these analyzations. Show us the date!

Those monkeys are so cool!!

...the statues of monkeys are not. 

"I was watching the monkeys and thinking - they see what they want, they see the banana and they go and get it." -Kaitlyn. Here comes the metaphor.


"It's going to be hard for you to shake that guy." -Her stepdad. come ooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnn

Chris is like, "It's 2 pm. But can we start the fantasy suite now?"


Eat! For the love of all that is holy! Eat!

Ooh he says he's falling in love with her too!

The last few seasons that I've seen, I feel like they've been pretty obvious about - we want the fantasy suite, but we aren't going to get down and dirty. Doesn't seem like it's going to be that way.

And the shades are down.

So awkward to go to one date right after the other. I hate these.

Aww he jumps off the boat to her! Can't even go back to the stairs, he's so excited. Or maybe he just wanted to show off.

Would she be hugging him so tight if she knew he just slept with Kaitlyn? :/

Whitney's been tanning!

Wow. Bali is beautiful. 

Geez cameraman get a shot that's not Whitney's butt. 

Get a ponytail baby girl.

I AM SO CONFUSED.....and now editing this, I can't remember why. Was anyone else confused about something on the boat?

I've never seen a girl more confident that she's going to be the fiancée. 

The thumbs up boatman haha

I want to see Chris talk to her about Arlington!!!

Asking her about it, he REALLY wants her to love it. 

"Life takes you places and it's not where you are, it's who you're with." -Whitney. Amen, sister.

Has anyone ever rejected a Fantasy Suite?

That bathwater still better be warm. 

Why would you show a spider?? That's not romantic!!

I'm so thrown with Becca. She's barely seemed interested and I don't see their chemistry. Am I alone here?

A terraced stream! Cool. 

TWO temple dates?

"It would be devastating if my virginity was a dealbreaker for him." -Not planning on sleeping with him.

Is this guy some kind of fortune teller?

"Any advice for our relationship?" -Becca 
"Make love." -fortune teller (?) 
"I like this guy." -Chris. Keep it in your pants, Chris.

"It never ceases to amaze me how excited I am to see Becca." -Chris. Sooooo he doesn't think about her/get excited to see her when they're apart, just when he first sees her? This is why I'm so confused!!

"I'm fearful of putting myself out there, but there's something there that's worth it." -Becca, saying, "Maybe down the road, this will be good." And while they're talking about being in love. And he looks down - not what he wanted to hear.

We should have started a word count on the word virgin. Someone rewind!

"If he's really falling in love with me, it's a possibility it could happen tonight." Really? You'd be ok with your first experience being with a guy who is also with two other women?

"I would have to make sure that I'm REALLY REALLY SURE." This girl has real commitment issues. 

"So we can get to know each other in a whole new way." -Chris. Gag.

He always kisses when he can't say deep things. Red flag on not being able to express his emotions - but that can be worked on. With a lot of patience.

Do they go in and prep these rooms like, right before? Those candles have got to be a fire hazard. Plus, the bathwater!! Is it warm?!?!

It's not a red flag she's never been in love. The fact that she was in a basically platonic relationship for 4 years, and hasn't been in love, is.

He must be so confused with this buildup.

"I'm a virgin." -Becca
"I can help with that." -What Chris is thinking 

"I'm more interested in figuring out if it's going to work." -Chris. Hey! Maybe this night WAS all about them just talking on a deeper level (no cameras = less awkward) and not sleeping together. Yeah. I'm going to tell myself that.

"I've always said I'm waiting for marriage but the reality is, I'm with a guy tonight I have feelings for." -Becca. Waiting for marriage unless my hormones get in the way.

"She has everything a man could want."

We're only an hour fifteen in and he's almost ending the last fantasy suite date. This is going to be the longest rose ceremony ever.

If he's having this many doubts about her at this point - send her home. OR if she's the only one he's so worried about that the rest aren't as important - keep her and work on it.

"Really do want them all to meet my family." Hey, is Chris Harrison around? Can I do that?
This background music is awesome. 

"Never thought I'd be complaining about falling in love with three different women - but this is my life." Get that dirt off your shoulder, Chris.

I bet if Chris Harrison got his Master's in therapy, he'd get a raise. 

"Feel pretty strong about one girl." Duh. 

"If her feelings for me are real, it's only a matter of time before it works out." - Chris. Eeeehhhhh, maybe not. See: her last relationship.

"It's not that cut and dry." (With Becca.) It is though! I feel like, if she was with someone for 4 years, and can say she wasn't in love, she has no problem stringing along a relationship. I mean, she wasn't in it for the sex. After a year or two, shouldn't you figure it out?

"Something with Whitney doesn't feel right yet." -Chris. WHAT???

"When push comes to shove, I'll make a decision and move forward with it." -Chris. Push him, Harrison!

No hugging in the temple? During the breakup??

Oh! He takes her aside so he doesn't put her through the rose ceremony. Nice. Classy.

Hey!! That means Kaitlyn stays another week! I gotta say, I'm surprised she made it this far, but I'm SO excited for her!!

Chat with Becca - maaaaaaaaaaaybe he should have talked first so she didn't pour her soul out.

The emotional trauma of going through this....

This is taking fooorrrrrreeeevvvvvveeeerrrrrr.

Can we fast forward???

I feel like this interview with Kaitlyn is building up to him sending her home instead. That music is foreboding.


She's back!! Oooohhh I guess pouring out her soul helped.

"If Becca is for Chris, then I am not. She is so young, she lacks life experience..." -Whitney. I actually agree, and it makes sense if that's why she is how she is.

Kaitlyn!!!!!!!! Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!

I'm surprised at how heartbroken I am for her right now.

She already has her walls up.

Whitney's like, "Down to us two? I've got this in the bag."

You can hear the heartbeat

"I don't know if this is the right decision." "I really could see you with my family." This is the worst breakup ever!

She's like, "Where's the limo get me out of here."

Oh, I mean minivan.

Chris's sweat tissue - which was smart 'cause they were all kinds of shiny this week with that humidity. Also, is he crying?

Call her back!!

What do you think? Were you as sad I was that Kaitlyn got sent home? Am I being too harsh on Becca? Is Whitney still the frontrunner? Before you answer - this clip of Chris on Ellen.

Thursday, February 19, 2015

Bachelor - Night 2...late

I know this is like...four days late, but some weeks are like that. And let's be honest, Monday's episode was super boring compared to Sunday's. So we're not really missing out. In fact, if you skip this one, I won't even blame you.

Oh man there's still a full single date from last week! I forgot, since they keep BREAKING UP THE WEEKS!

"Becca tells me she's never been in love. I don't know what to think about that." -Chris. Um, what is there to think? Does it matter?

That is a killer sunset/silhouette kiss shot.

Is Britt bluffing? Seriously leaving?

Oh but not before the rose ceremony. So he can have a chance to fight for her. Obvi. So, basically, she's packing...just like everyone else does...before the ceremony. Drama queen award.

"I'm picturing Chris meeting my family and it would be devastating..................................................if I didn't get that opportunity." Really helpful that she finished that sentence.

"I need to make some really important decisions--" -Chris
"Hey, can I talk to you for a minute?" -Britt. Obviously she cares a lot about what he has to say.

These girls are aces with this analysis with Britt.

"So I as just wondering if you wanted to say anything to me..." -Britt. There's the chance to get him to beg

"There's been girls in the house telling me you're not being honest." Chris! You should have learned not to tattle!

"Was it Carly? Just tell me if it was Carly." -Britt. "Does it matter? Why?!" He's so mad!

They're talking over each other. Nice.

And somehow, he comes out on top! Broke up with her first - boom!!

First time the fake one has been called out by the bachelor himself. (But my memory's not awesome and I haven't watched all the seasons. But it's the first time I can remember.)

Man these girls and their uncontrollable crying! Where is your self-control!

Lol can they really hear her crying?

"I really trusted Carly, I thought we were friends!" -Britt. It's so funny because Carly was always giving Britt looks of like, "Are you kidding me?" I don't think she's ever acted friendly enough towards Britt to make her feel like she's a big trustee. Plus the fact that she thought it was her kinda shows she knew they weren't friends.

And Chris is thanking Carly!

....and sends her home. :( Kinda saw it coming but I'm sad we don't get to see more of her. 

We don't get to see their goodbye chat?? Come on!!

The whole process of this show is hilarious.

Guys, if you ever wonder what a girl is going through post-break-up, watch this. 

Or wait, is that just me??

"Last week the girls got to see where I came from. This week I get to see were they're from." -Chris. A little fill-in for those of you who have never watched the show before.

I swear, if they postpone another rose ceremony...

"What do you think?" -Becca. Of this tiny park? It's where I live! Surprise!

I'm really amazed that she was in a four year relationship and never had sex, AND she's not Mormon.

Has she never taken anyone home? "I don't want you to be intimidated." Umm when you're the first boy she's even brought...good luck with that.

Final 2 - Becca and Whitney. Calling before he meets the families.

AND they never met her ex of four years??? Wow.

Becca's sister, telling the real deal stuff. LISTEN to what their families tell you about these women!!

Love Becca's mom. Don't hold that mother bear back!

Wish I could've seen Chris's reassurances to that.

Awwwwww! A private Ferris wheel ride.

...with the cameraman she's staring at.

Also, is this also the first time they've gone out after seeing family? Chris is breaking all sorts of bounds here.

"What do you say we go make a baby?" -Whitney. AND SHE WINKS!! LOL

"They're making a baby but they're changing in separate rooms? How does that work?" -My husband Chris. (When I stay home he watches with me. And is hilarious.)

Um awkward. Please don't make him "leave a specimen."

"But I'm pretty sure my soules-diers are marching." -Chris. Man.

"I love that about her. Can bust my balls - no pun intended." -Chris. He is just on a roll! And I think he ends up with her.

I can't tell which was worse - that, or Shantel wanting Brad to lay on the mortuary table in Brad and Emily's season.

Decided. Shantel. Because she wasn't kidding.

He is SO SERIOUS about her, asking her who he should ask for permission.

I love Whitney cutting to the chase. Say what you mean!! You go girl! She comes off as hyper-sweet but man she can Get. It. Done.

Please don't open the wine you said you'd only open for your future husband please don't open the wine please-

Oh. She gone and did it.

Wait isn't Kaitlyn from Canada?

Oh, Phoenix is where they winter. "So where does everyone summer?" -Phoebe

Kaitlyn! Didn't she remember the Big n Rich date? At least she knew it she was getting herself into with him singing.

I like her SO MUCH but I really think she can do better than Chris. At least better for her. But what do I know?

That's pretty awesome that ALL the step parents are getting along.

How trippy would it be to watch your ex on the bachelor/ette?

"Every time I'm with him I can just see that I heart him." -Kaitlyn. "I can see that you heart him." -Kaitlyn's mom. Oh, guys. 

Ok - we don't see ANY Chris conversations? This is weird.

Oh she REALLY BIG HEARTs him!!!

She's advancing.

"I didn't get a chance to tell him." -Jade. It actually means "I didn't want to." She had plenty of opportunities.

No out on the town date, straight to the family eh?

She got her daddy's eyes.

Father talk next to the gun cabinet. Nice.

I like their humble home.

Jade's and Becca's families are so straightforward about what these girls are like. Good!

How has she not had time to show him her whole self? I mean if she has walls up, fine, but either you're being yourself or you're not.

When they got in the car it was still light, but they get out and it's dark. How long were they driving?

"Live life by my own rules." -Jade. Red flag for someone looking for a serious relationship.

I wonder what he's expecting with this buildup.

Oh! He doesn't want to see them!

This is so inappropriate. 

HE FINALLY LOOKED AWAY!! When a girl was undressing!!!

...and then watched the video. :(

If I ended up being his fiancée (Whitney) I'd be so mad he watched that. But then, I guess they do know about fantasy suites.

"I don't feel like this would affect our relationship." -Chris. Really??

What are her socks?

At least he sees it WOULD affect his life. EVERYONE could see your wife naked. Aca-awkward. 

The Chris and Whitney scene after the credits - "This just made my whole entire night." Well that's too bad since you just met her family and she pretty much told you she wanted to marry you. haha!

Sunday, February 15, 2015

The One Where I Fall In Love With Carly

I don't know why it's taken me so long to start these posts this season - probably because I thought it was going to be suuuuper boring actually - but now it's so good I can't stop myself. I wish I had done last week's with Ashley I. and Kelsey (!!!) but here were are now, so:

The "Chris Tells All" (quotes because really, he didn't tell us anything but oh well):
Oh, first it's Kelsey, I guess:
"I faked the panic attack," I know this is taken out of context, but she said the words in that order sooooooooooooo.

"Are you condescending?" -Chris H.
"No." -Kelsey. LOL isn't it other people who get to decide that?

"Do you think you're smarter than the other girls?" -Chris H. She waited waaaaaaaaaaay too long to answer. Yes.

"I saw my arms collapse in front of me." -Kelsey. How often do you walk around with your hands up? Oh wait - "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes, saying - oh, idea! Better have a panic attack to get a rose."

High school guidance counselor {does not equal} mental health professional.

This is awesome editing. Kelsey says, "She's an incredible person." Cut to - "She's here (hand down) I'm here (hand up)(in the air again, silly Kelsey)." And, "She needs to go home and play dress she has for the last 24 years." LOL. 

Also, if she's so incredible, why do you want to crucify her?

I want to hire Chris Harrison to be my therapist.

Ok, on to Chris:
Craft (?) services for the crew! I want to be on that crew. That looks ballin'.

"I mean, it could have happened to anyone." -Chris H, on the girl who got wasted. Over-drinking! It could happen to you!

If Chris had said "light bulb" in Gru's voice, I would have given him major points. And forgiven all the misgivings I've had all season.

"I'm not opposed to the small bikini. I am a man." Ooooooh. Just lost all those hypothetical points.

Like I just don't get why people feel this pulling need to tell a sob story before all else, and at such inappropriate times. Is it really just to stick around? 

The "love guru" date was like peer pressure for adults. "We both just didn't know what to we didn't do anything."

And that clip on the date with Becca - I want to see more like that!! GIVE US THE REAL STUFF, BACHELOR!!!

Chris S: The donkey almost took my life.
Chris H.: What a jackass.
That was terrible, Chris.
...and I laughed so hard.

And poor Andi. I didn't watch her season but I liked her a lot. I feel really bad for her.
"Where we get in a fight and neither of us are willing to give in." Hope Andi's future boyfriends aren't watching.

I would NEVER want to get on national TV after a breakup. $$$$$

On to the actual episode!!
What did Chris say to Britt's question??

Megan - oh wow. Easy breakup. Classy of her to go straight in for it. Fearless. I like it.

Carly has so much personality. I love her dress because it's so her. Love Jade's too.

"Why don't you just give her the ring?" - Kaitlyn. LOL

So excited it's Jade. Love her.

You can tell he's totally in his element.

Is that JUST Chris's house? How much money does this guy have??

Calm down, Britt. Not EVERYTHING is about you.

Whitney! I bet he picked the two most likely girls to be ok in a small town to really test them. Top 2?

It may be a ghost town - but if you're close to bigger towns....nope, 3 hours from Des Moines. Yikes. Maybe other smaller towns, closer?

"This episode is not sponsored by the Arlington town council." -Allison (friend I watch it with) hahahah

Anyone else think it's weird when people still cheer on their HS song? Maybe just me because high school was lame? ok moving on...

"This row reserved for The Bachelor." They must have taken the sign down.

Meet the parents! And they're sitting elsewhere so he didn't have to...

Are the girls confined to the hotel? Seriously, why not go outside occasionally??

"When Chris and I were finally alone." -Jade. Honey weren't you alone ALL DAY?

"It's not English, what we're doing, it's more like French..." -Chris. There's that small town boy.

There was nobody in downtown because there were all at the game.

I think it's cute that Jade (I keep wanting to call her Desi?) can say that Cinderella and his HS's game can be her best nights ever.

Whitney: "It's weird to think I could be in a place I might call home." -Not Des Moines. Someone fill her in. Geography is not this season's strong suit.

(PS I really like her. Even with her unique voice. She's really cute, and I like her attitude that flares up occasionally.)


"Britt thinks this is the bachelorette." -Carly. LOL.

"Let's go to Arlington, like I want to see where I could be living." That's nice dreaming, girls.

Oh. They're serious. Alright, well, go Carly! She has so much spunk.

Kaitlyn just quoted Anchorman!! If I didn't already love her, it would have been the tipping point.

If they saw how rich he was, they might change their minds about this small town.

The same Jesus picture! It's a sign!

Oh it really is. LOL she gets better and better. I'm glad she says "it's a sign I'm on the right path"...not "that I'm going to marry him."

The 50-year-old is wearing a Call of Duty shirt. Awesome. That's your answer ladies - that's what they do in this town. You ready?

Oh, and he's the pastor! Even better!

"There's not a restaurant here." But where will Britt waitress??

Carly is killing me!!! The hand puppet!! The moon!!! SERIOUSLY DYING

SEE!! Whitney's parents story. THAT kind of emotional giving is NORMAL. Sharing at an appropriate time, after you've met some friends, had a few dates. Way to go, Whitney!!!

Got my tight pants, my tight pants on.

Awww a mural!

"This is going to be here, like, forever?" Well, until someone else paints over it.

Jade is telling Carly. And the number one google search of the night is....

I really like seeing more of his small town side.

Come on, Britt. You're wearing a midriff shirt and you KNOW you're going ice skating!!! Chris, analyze this situation. Is she going to be ok on a farm?? NO.

The skating interview between Carly and Kaitlyn - LOL. Love them!

Carly's tattling was the best I've ever seen. You go, girl!

Ok, Chris you can ask her again - but she's going to lie again.

"What does a hometown date with you look like?" -Chris
"We're going to eat on our hometowns." -Britt. (Loose interpretation.) Which must have been a relief since they don't eat on their dates they go on now.

"I like to reinvent myself." -Britt. Red flag! "She's a runner." -Allison. Yep.

"Was there ever a there's no way moment?" -Chris. Oooooh smart! Such a better call - out than last week, and he didn't accuse Carly. Fast learner.

I hate seeing Kaitlyn so insecure. She's just too awesome.

Ummmm...Britt's death stare.

DID SHE SERIOUSLY ROLL HER EYES AT HIM??? She gets me so worked up.

Ohhhhh. Manipulative Britt!! At her finest.

"I don't want to make YOU feel bad." -Britt to Kaitlyn. Nope, just Chris.

This needs to be a one-on-one conversation. So awkward, and putting Chris in a terrible position.

She can't let anyone else be happy in front of her or she flips out. Second time tonight she's interrupted a good moment for someone else to make it all about her.

Ok, telling him you might want to go home right now? In front of the other girls? Don't play like that, girl. If you liked him enough, you'd be past that. Or maybe if she was classy? I can't tell.

You can tell she's so used to throwing a tantrum and then getting what she wants - I don't think she even realizes that she's being a brat, it's just innate. Plus, she keeps talking about her daddy this and father that - maybe she's a daddy's girl? And he's the one who gives her anything?

Ok well that's all the judging I have time for tonight. But do you think Jade's past will have a bearing on Chris's feelings toward her?? Very excited we don't have to wait another week! See you tomorrow!